From APRA today:
Victorian Liberal Party nominated for “Controlled Opposition of the Year” Award
“It’s a huge honour for us but honestly it hasn’t been hard. We’re the most useless fucking party in all of Australia at the state level,” Guy said.
Qantas announces passengers must have COVID anal swabs every 15 minutes on international flights
Qantas CEO Alan Joyce has announced that any passengers on it’s international services will have to submit to COVID anal swabs performed by flight attendants, every 15 minutes while onboard the flight. The move, instantly approved by Joyce, comes as the airline looks to commit economic suicide and become the next best shorting opportunity for … Read more
Sally Capp plans to revitalise Melbourne CBD’s economy by preventing the unvaccinated from spending any money in it
Melbourne Mayor Sally Capp has announced that unvaccinated individuals will be banned from entering any City of Melbourne facility and from participating in the Melbourne CBD’s economy. After footage of empty shopfronts in the Melbourne CBD circulated online, Capp defended criticism that this was retarded and essentially akin to racial segregation. “I may have spent … Read more
Fiona Patten enters Witness Protection Program after signing Victorian SOE extension
Reason Party MLC Fiona Patten has entered Victoria Police protection this evening, after deleting all of her social media accounts and disappearing from the internet, claiming ‘trolls.’ However, Patten is believed to have already signed the extension to the state of emergency powers, and has sought Police protection from the impending wave of pitchforks and … Read more
TIMBO Shoots, Timbo Scores…
This worked so well, it got nuked from orbit. As far as I can tell, someone stole the main bit from his satire earlier in the week, without attribution. This person – pretty sure its a bot – tagged CraigKellyMP and the AEC. Then this happened… I can’t find it anymore, so someone deleted it … Read more
Election Campaign: #putlaberallast
I’m with the MB commenter formerly known as Gunnamatta: the best way forward for us is to campaign to reduce the liberal and labor parties’ primary votes down. Their mutual connivance around property and migration has gone on so long and is now so deeply embedded it is now no longer unreasonable to suggest that … Read more
Poll finds no-one actually gives a fuck what Jane Caro thinks of anything
“The data also showed similar results for the opinions of Julia Baird, Dee Madigan and Patricia Karvelas, so the trend is clear – STFU, no-one cares.”
Scott Morrison unveils new “Convict Card” Social Credit System
“This card is nothing like the Australia Card of the 90’s, it’s much worse,” Morrison said.
China names new coal-fired power station after Kevin Rudd
“He’s been the best advertisement for economic suicide of a first world nation in a generation,” President Xi Jinping said.
“We need to reach net-zero to avoid climate disaster” says man from Queensland beach front mansion
“Rising sea levels are the challenge of our time, just not anywhere around where I live obviously.”
Dominion voting software named official sponsor of 2022 Australian Federal Election
The move will see Dominion voting software be used across the nation, opening the door for ‘transparency and consolidation of the uniparty vote’ in the face of growing discontent among the electorate.