Minister Sinister 
The disease, which has notably affected former EZFKA Prime Minister’s Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull, has crippled the former paid controversialist into a life of agitation on social media.
The bus, which has mandatory vaccinations on board, will also feature a re-enforced bull bar and six wheels which will ‘process up to hundreds of Australian workers a day.’
“Scientism believers can be easily identified by their blue face coverings, chastising of non-believers, inquisition of public health order commandment breakers and ritual of injection of the body of Pfizer.”
Keneally stated that her exclusive Scotland Island estate was “too far away to commute from” and that living among the migrants that the ALP have dumped en masse into Western Sydney, had “nothing to do with it.”
w the same rules and validity periods as lockdowns. We’ll announce them for three weeks, for three weeks at a time, forever,” Berejiklian said.
“I’ll also be ordering a full review and directing NSW Police to further bully citizens in that area for not wearing masks, in order to calm the situation.”
After Dr Kerry Chant’s disastrous “new world order” Freudian slip, Premier Berejiklian announced that this would be the end of the line for the daily doom show and that journalists would soon find out how non-essential they really are.
ICU’s at NSW’s hospitals are at breaking point this evening with a record number of admissions for self-harm from mainstream media journalists, after witnessing Sydney residents telling them to get fucked over lockdown. Journalists from across the media were admitted to ICU’s across Sydney, sparking a crisis and condemnation for ‘taking up ICU spots.’ “It’s … Read more
It is understood a delegation from EZFKA comprising of Australian Police Commissioners will also be in attendance, to study how best to manage the “Australian protests of the future.”
“Well, I never really wanted to take the jab and I’ve now only got about 5 years to live with a 66% mortality rate and shit quality of life. But hey, at least being snarky about 5G and putting something on social media was worth ending my life prematurely for.”
The first EZFKAFL Grand Final in Perth will be played over a six-week period, after Premier Mark McGowan ruled players will be required to quarantine for 14 days between quarters. McGowan is also demanding that players wear masks on the field at all times and that he reserved the right to cancel the game at … Read more
Chief Health Officers in respective EZFKA states have been announced as headline acts for the 2022 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The 2022 event, sponsored by Pfizer, will feature the best of Australia’s material from daily press conferences performed live. “It’s been non-stop comedy gold every day at 11am, so we thought why don’t we ask … Read more
“When we get to that stage, I’ll be announcing what goalposts we’ll be shifting and what freedoms will be made dependent on what booster shots are available at the time and then changing them a week later,” Andrews said.
“Absolutely selfish behaviour from these small business owners that have lost everything trying to take their own lives when there’s a pandemic on,” Karvelas said.
“The prick tried to rip off a struggling small business owner. We’re all in this together though right?,” Mark, owner of the Safe Labor Seat Café in Dandenong, said to reporters.
“I got what I wanted in the end. A few self-interested rants on Sky News during lockdown was all it took to get my own way, so fuck everyone else I’m alright Jack,” Penman said.
“I’ve only got one trick and that’s to keep the borders closed. After that, fuck knows. I’ll call Kerry Stokes and get the West Australian to write some glowing, sycophantic bullshit to get more support,” McGowan said.
“Bloody protestors putting us all at risk. They’re exactly the reason I can’t go on my caravan holiday to the Barossa Valley or the cruise to Fiji I had planned. Lock’em all up and throw away the key,” Robertson said.
“It wasn’t one of our run-of-the-mill satanic rituals that we usually broadcast prior to QandA, and this one had not been through the proper censorship screening. We’re currently consulting with lawyers from jeffrey Epstein’s estate and will release further statements later.”
Victoria Police have advised anyone approaching 100 metres of the site is warned they may be tear gassed, pepper sprayed ‘or worse.’
“Mate, I’m all for shutting down everyone else’s work and source of income, but closing the parks down so I can’t get the kids out of the house while I’m working form home is a bridge too far. Sack Andrews now!”
Albanese said it would be on the usual ALP condition of a ticket in exchange for a vote, with the carrot of full access to the usual suite of EZFKA public services and debt.
The triple vaccinated are demanding that double vaccinated be barred from buying groceries, going across state borders and sent to quarantine facilities until they receive their booster shot. They’re also demanding that they be forced to wear some kind of identifier on their clothing, to let strangers know they’re only double vaccinated.
“We had a decisive victory the other weekend when we shut the city down when there was no protest, so protestors need to watch out,” Fuller said.
“I don’t care how many people kill themselves, go bankrupt, lose their relationships and everything they’ve worked for, that’s not the point you selfish pricks. Bloody selfish arseholes putting people at risk with a disease with a 99.98% survival rate that affects mainly elderly and obese. Do as your bloody told!”
“The United States has shown the way, the only way to secure free and fair elections is by mail-in ballot and combined with minor party requirements will give greater certainty of a favourable election result,” Morrison said.
“This is exactly what I signed up for. Particularly when I went through Kapooka I thought, man, how good would it be to carry luggage at hotels for returning citizens for hotel quarantine. It is important preparation for the internment camps later on,” Private A said.
A wave of LNP members of parliament and Sky News gatekeepers have begun lobbying for the mass importation of Afghans, citing critical skills shortages in engineering and medicine where the wage floor isn’t low enough already.
The officers will be equipped with M4’s, riot gear, tear gas canisters and have a direct line to air support, in the case of mothers’ groups refusing to leave.
