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Minister Sinister

RBA gives ADF green light to deploy M1 Abrams to protect Australian banks before bail-in legislation enacted

July 22, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Following similar scenes in China, the tanks will be deployed out the front of the RBA and most major banks before bail-in laws are enacted and Australian deposits are confiscated around September.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

As Australia implodes, local conservative satisfied unmasking shitty Twitter account he could’ve just ignored is the hill to die on

June 25, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Dave Kennedy, from Sydney, donated large amounts of money to grifter of the year Avi Yemeni in his court battle to unmask PRguy17. Kennedy believes the mounting numbers of crises including energy, hospital, inflation and supply change need to take a back seat for a while.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 19 Comments

Drag Queen Story Time mandates included as part of Victoria’s Free Childcare Package

June 17, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Victorian parents will be able to access free childcare only at centres across the state that are staffed exclusively by paedophiles posing as entertainers.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 17 Comments

Bunnings introduces ‘pay by facial scan only’ policy for snags

June 16, 2022 by Minister Sinister

From next month, shoppers will only be allowed to pay by facial recognition, with those who pay with cash instantly apprehended and sent to camps in China’s Xinjiang Province.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 11 Comments

New Zealand housing market saved after BlackRock purchases entire North Island

June 16, 2022 by Minister Sinister

EZFKNZ PM Jacinda Ardern brokered the deal last week in New York, after a meeting with CEO Larry Fink to save NZ’s housing market and rescue the land-owning class. The deal also secures exclusive naming rights for BlackRock to the North Island.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 1 Comment

New Zealand criminals go on Gold Coast crime spree to celebrate Albanese relaxing deportation laws

June 13, 2022 by Minister Sinister

They were joined in solidarity with crime sprees by Kiwis in Melbourne and South Brisbane, after Jacinda Ardern managed to secure the deal and wash her hands of her citizens’ wrongdoings as she loses control of crime in NZ.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 11 Comments

Daniel Andrews to fix hospital crisis by building suburban rail loop no-one wants

May 31, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Andrews lashed out at critics of the uncosted plan, and said the solution to fixing the hospitals is to vote in a federal ALP government to fix a problem that is exponentially worse in ALP states.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 19 Comments

26 million Australians sign government petition for Home Affairs to fast track revocation of Yasmin Abdel-Magied’s citizenship

May 31, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The petition, launched by the Get The Fuck Out Then Association, sprung up in response to Abdel-Magied’s recent claim that she ‘never considered herself Australian’ and that it wasn’t just an attention-seeking grab for relevance.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

AFL commemorates annual Dreamtime Round with traditional Aboriginal community violence

May 30, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Traditional weapons, such as didgeridoos and star pickets, were handed out to patrons for use in altercations during games this weekend, with notable clashes at the MCG resulting in some good old fashioned clan violence to ‘really celebrate the remote community spirit.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 15 Comments

Twitter buys another server farm to handle meltdowns from lefties after Peter Dutton named LNP leader

May 27, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The former Defence Minister was named opposition leader unopposed yesterday, causing Twitter to go offline and cause several blackouts across Australia.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 9 Comments

Matthew Guy says he’s confident of delivering another ALP victory in November election

May 27, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Guy credits kicking out Bernie Finn, blocking all his voters on social media and gagging any known conservatives still within the Liberal Party as the credit to losing his second election in a row.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 10 Comments

Daniel Andrews solves Victoria’s ambulance crisis by renaming Ambulance Victoria

May 27, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The Premier moved quickly to rename Ambulance Victoria to Victoria Ambulance and proudly declare that there were no staff shortages.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 15 Comments

Friendlyjordies, Betoota Advocate, Chaser, Juice Media announce retirement after ALP election win due to suddenly having no material

May 25, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Friendlyjordies, The Betoota Advocate, The Chaser and The Juice Media have all announced they’re calling it quits just days after their beloved team red was elected.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 29 Comments

GoFundMe to crowdfund nuclear strike on Davos during WEF annual meeting reaches goal in 10 seconds

May 24, 2022 by Minister Sinister

A similar GofundMe to launch a simultaneous nuclear strike on Geneva while the WHO Treaty is taking countries’ sovereignty also reached it’s goal in under a minute.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Lefty journo bravely criticises Ben Roberts-Smith and SASR from behind desk in Melbourne

May 16, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Nick McKenzie has been praised for his continuing work on the globalist agenda to demoralise the Australian military, with a months long smear piece against the soldier and the regiment in general.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 28 Comments

Report: Labor MP Richard Marles ‘guest of honour’ on board Chinese intelligence ship off of WA coast

May 14, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Marles was aboard the ship and was touring the WA coast inspecting potential landing sites for a PLAN invasion in the near future.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 10 Comments

“A real win for democide” Melbourne Communists celebrate Swastika Ban

May 13, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The Victorian Bolshevik Association hailed the move with tributes to Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, Stalin and Mao at their headquarters in Caufield. Greens leader Adam Bandt was also in attendance.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Go Fund Me to throw Alan Joyce out of a plane reaches goal in five minutes

May 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The Go Fund Me, which will hire a group of mercenaries to kidknap Alan Joyce and then ‘throw the cunt out the door at 30,000 feet’ reached it’s million-dollar goal in five minutes.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

Karen Andrews announces crackdown on foreign interference by allowing Chinese to attack Australians criticising Xi in Sydney

May 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Anthony Albanese said he 100% supports the move and will introduce legislation to ban Australians from defending themselves from any kind of foreign attack if re-elected.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Australian Electoral Commission releases instructional video on how to get your dead relatives to vote for Albo

May 9, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The video, featuring World Economic Forum Klaus Schwab and US President Joe Biden, also gives tips on ballot harvesting and shows that up to 81 million votes are possible at the next election, if people follow some easy steps.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 6 Comments

Labor say they’ll support boat turn backs until the day after the federal election

May 9, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Shadow Home Affairs Minister Kristina Keneally said she’ll support turning back the boats publicly, but will likely recant if the ALP win office in a few weeks time.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 1 Comment

Grace Tame, Aussie Cossack to headline Griftcon 2022

May 9, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The line-up will also feature regulars Friendlyjordies and Avi Yemini among a slew of the finest grifters EZFKA has to offer.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Albo confirms McGowan appointing WA Police Commissioner as Governor will be ‘outside the scope of any Federal ICAC investigation’

May 9, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Dawson, who will take up the appointment this month, was appointed by McGowan at the height of the COVID pandemic in a move dubbed ‘one of the most corrupt in WA history.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

Greens announce new “Anti-White Australia” immigration policy of deporting all white Australians by 2025

April 19, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The plan will see the new quarantine camps built used to round up white Australians and ship them off to any country that will take them, ‘preferably non-white.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 74 Comments

Labor scrambling to find out who the fuck thought it was a good idea to have Albo at industry event that ALP helped destroy the past two years

April 19, 2022 by Minister Sinister

“We like to market ourselves as the cool party, when in actual fact we’re just a different flavour of the same turd.”

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Zali Steggall says she’ll stand up for gender equality by letting men invade women’s sports

April 19, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The MP was under fire this week for suggesting opposition to transmen playing women’s sports was purely transphobia and that young women should allow themselves to be injured against men.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 9 Comments

Victorian Commonwealth Games cancelled after realisation no athletes will be left alive to compete by then

April 12, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Even free aspirin and defibrillators wasn’t enough to persuade the Commonwealth Games committee, who promptly decided to terminate the contract and save tax payers and hospitals the trouble.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Gillon McLachlan resigns from AFL to take up new board position at Australian Heart Foundation

April 12, 2022 by Minister Sinister

McLachlan denied allegations that the timing of the move was nothing to do with a series of players experiencing serious heart conditions.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Satire 2 Comments

Labor to crack down on skilled working visa rorts by offering instant citizenship to all migrants

April 13, 2022April 8, 2022 by Minister Sinister

“Instead of migrants coming here to take jobs and opportunities away from young Australians, increase house prices and destroy wages temporarily, let’s give them the opportunity to do that on a permanent basis forever,” Keneally said.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 19 Comments

Albo slams Solomon Islands deal, offers Tasmania to China in response

April 8, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The deal will extend China’s growing foothold in the Pacific region. However, Albanese says if elected he will offer President Xi the state of Tasmania as a sweetener with plans for a permanent navy base in Hobart.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 2 Comments
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