Minister Sinister 
Higgins said she was subjected to a ‘series of frightening ordeals’ of planning the book deal with Fitzsimons, deleting text messages, an interview with Wilkinson and organising with Labor Minister for Women Katy Gallagher for the interview to be aired during the first week of parliament.
Following similar scenes in China, the tanks will be deployed out the front of the RBA and most major banks before bail-in laws are enacted and Australian deposits are confiscated around September.
Dave Kennedy, from Sydney, donated large amounts of money to grifter of the year Avi Yemeni in his court battle to unmask PRguy17. Kennedy believes the mounting numbers of crises including energy, hospital, inflation and supply change need to take a back seat for a while.
Victorian parents will be able to access free childcare only at centres across the state that are staffed exclusively by paedophiles posing as entertainers.
From next month, shoppers will only be allowed to pay by facial recognition, with those who pay with cash instantly apprehended and sent to camps in China’s Xinjiang Province.
EZFKNZ PM Jacinda Ardern brokered the deal last week in New York, after a meeting with CEO Larry Fink to save NZ’s housing market and rescue the land-owning class. The deal also secures exclusive naming rights for BlackRock to the North Island.
They were joined in solidarity with crime sprees by Kiwis in Melbourne and South Brisbane, after Jacinda Ardern managed to secure the deal and wash her hands of her citizens’ wrongdoings as she loses control of crime in NZ.
Andrews lashed out at critics of the uncosted plan, and said the solution to fixing the hospitals is to vote in a federal ALP government to fix a problem that is exponentially worse in ALP states.
The petition, launched by the Get The Fuck Out Then Association, sprung up in response to Abdel-Magied’s recent claim that she ‘never considered herself Australian’ and that it wasn’t just an attention-seeking grab for relevance.
Traditional weapons, such as didgeridoos and star pickets, were handed out to patrons for use in altercations during games this weekend, with notable clashes at the MCG resulting in some good old fashioned clan violence to ‘really celebrate the remote community spirit.’
The former Defence Minister was named opposition leader unopposed yesterday, causing Twitter to go offline and cause several blackouts across Australia.
Guy credits kicking out Bernie Finn, blocking all his voters on social media and gagging any known conservatives still within the Liberal Party as the credit to losing his second election in a row.
The Premier moved quickly to rename Ambulance Victoria to Victoria Ambulance and proudly declare that there were no staff shortages.
Friendlyjordies, The Betoota Advocate, The Chaser and The Juice Media have all announced they’re calling it quits just days after their beloved team red was elected.
A similar GofundMe to launch a simultaneous nuclear strike on Geneva while the WHO Treaty is taking countries’ sovereignty also reached it’s goal in under a minute.
Nick McKenzie has been praised for his continuing work on the globalist agenda to demoralise the Australian military, with a months long smear piece against the soldier and the regiment in general.
Marles was aboard the ship and was touring the WA coast inspecting potential landing sites for a PLAN invasion in the near future.
The Victorian Bolshevik Association hailed the move with tributes to Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, Stalin and Mao at their headquarters in Caufield. Greens leader Adam Bandt was also in attendance.
The Go Fund Me, which will hire a group of mercenaries to kidknap Alan Joyce and then ‘throw the cunt out the door at 30,000 feet’ reached it’s million-dollar goal in five minutes.
Anthony Albanese said he 100% supports the move and will introduce legislation to ban Australians from defending themselves from any kind of foreign attack if re-elected.
The video, featuring World Economic Forum Klaus Schwab and US President Joe Biden, also gives tips on ballot harvesting and shows that up to 81 million votes are possible at the next election, if people follow some easy steps.
Shadow Home Affairs Minister Kristina Keneally said she’ll support turning back the boats publicly, but will likely recant if the ALP win office in a few weeks time.
The line-up will also feature regulars Friendlyjordies and Avi Yemini among a slew of the finest grifters EZFKA has to offer.
Dawson, who will take up the appointment this month, was appointed by McGowan at the height of the COVID pandemic in a move dubbed ‘one of the most corrupt in WA history.’
The plan will see the new quarantine camps built used to round up white Australians and ship them off to any country that will take them, ‘preferably non-white.’
“We like to market ourselves as the cool party, when in actual fact we’re just a different flavour of the same turd.”
The MP was under fire this week for suggesting opposition to transmen playing women’s sports was purely transphobia and that young women should allow themselves to be injured against men.
Even free aspirin and defibrillators wasn’t enough to persuade the Commonwealth Games committee, who promptly decided to terminate the contract and save tax payers and hospitals the trouble.
McLachlan denied allegations that the timing of the move was nothing to do with a series of players experiencing serious heart conditions.
“Instead of migrants coming here to take jobs and opportunities away from young Australians, increase house prices and destroy wages temporarily, let’s give them the opportunity to do that on a permanent basis forever,” Keneally said.
