Kiwi criminals have launched a massive crime spree across the Gold Coast, in celebration of EZFKA PM Anthony Albanese weakening deportation laws to New Zealand.
They were joined in solidarity with crime sprees by Kiwis in Melbourne and South Brisbane, after Jacinda Ardern managed to secure the deal and wash her hands of her citizens’ wrongdoings as she loses control of crime in NZ.
“Bro, it’s the best news ever. I’m already on three home invasions this week and with the soft as shit Australian justice system, I’ll be on a community corrections order in no time,” said Hamilton-born criminal Vai’a Samisoa.
‘I mean, assuming I’m just an Australia citizen and not doing anything to obtain the legal protection citizenship gives you from being deported isn’t my responsibility, just like my crimes. I should be able to live in another country as a non-citizen and run up the justice bill how I see fit. Migrants have as much of a right to commit crime as the locals do. It’s racist to suggest otherwise.’
Migration lawyers across the country have however protested the news, saying they’ll be unable to charge their clients thousands and tie up the resources of the federal courts and Department of Home Affairs with bullshit appeals.