Satire

After a record 7th consecutive quarter of GDP per capita going backwards, Chalmers announced the plan at a press conference with the Business Council of Australia and Migration Industry Alliance.

Amandeep Singh, studying Bachelor of Commercial Cookery, said he was unfairly dismissed by the university and that the person he had paid to turn up and take the exam didn’t show up.

All listings on realestate.com.au and Domain are now only available in Hindi, Mandarin and Tagalog as part of the new policy.

Albanese has consulted former Prime Ministers John Howard and Julia Gillard to to oversee the contract.

Triguboff did not respond to the report but has reportedly been investigating a tender to build apartments on the Gaza waterfront.

AFL fans will be treated to a 3-hour Welcome to Country at the Grand Final this year in lieu of the actual game. The announcement comes off of overwhelming positive feedback from self-hating fags in Melbourne over the ceremonies this year, with the actual football being reduced to one, 15-minute quarter. “This will allow us … Read more

Shorten will now take up a position at the University of Canberra doing absolutely fuck all other than increasing the number of Indian Uber Drivers.

A Sydney man is set for the gallows after being found guilty of causing serious harm to Australia’s economy, under new laws introduced this week. Chris Harrison, of Ryde, posted that he was unable to afford a house and claimed the Australian economy was a ponzi scheme on Facebook. He was referred to ACMA who … Read more

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese praised the staged protests that drew their inspiration from pajeets in Canada, demanding they be an additional burden on the white middle class.

New immigration minister Tony Burke has vowed to crack down on the rorts, by allowing Foodbank to sponsor Indians to address critical skills shortages in the theft sector.