Satire

The Premier walked away from politics after 30 years blaming health concerns, after forcing everyone else to jeopardise theirs due to vaccine mandates.

Immigration Minister Andrew Giles said he was considering personally exercising Ministerial Intervention powers to grant Wu citizenship.

Mentone man Mark, who has been hospitalised with severe myocarditis requiring a heart transplant following his third COVID jab, said he was sure that if the AFL supported the Voice to Parliament then it would be in his best interest

The rebuke comes as rental ads all over Gumtree and Locanto reveal hundreds of properties in Melbourne and Sydney available for lease, but only to “other Indians.”

The PM expressed his concern that too many people are pissed
off about the country being invaded through the front door, and that
distractions galore are needed to diffuse an escalating situation.

Police and military will be deployed to evict white Australians and seize their houses in order to hand them over to hundreds of thousands of migrants.

Rizvi said memories of choosing to voluntarily migrate from Pakistan, parachute into a safe public service job for 20 years and then work to dismantle the Australian working class motivated him to respond.

Keating was scathing at the price tag and the mere suggestion that Australia spend any of it’s GDP on defence equipment at the expense of the property market.

“No-one had the ALP on their 2023 bingo cards to destroy what’s left of our public institutions with chains of endless foreign welfare parasitism,’ Giles said.

The organisation expects to field a record number of calls from triple vaccinated Victorians considering self-harm, should Djokovic win the title after being banned for not taking the jab.