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Mass suicides reported across Melbourne after Daniel Andrews resigns from politics
The most amount of suicides were reported in Melbourne’s south-east, as a large number of Andrews supporters participated in a mass die-in in front of the Andrews’ residence in Mulgrave.
Daniel Andrews resigns from politics after Chinese property developer ‘finally made the right offer’
Spokesperson Wei Fuk Yu said he was relieved he didn’t have to release the blackmail tapes from Andrews’ last trip to China.
Australian man returns to normal mode of not giving a fuck about womens’ sports after Matildas eliminated from World Cup
An Australian man has expressed his relief at the Matildas being eliminated from the World Cup, as he can finally go back not giving a fuck about women’s sports. Dave, from Brisbane, knew that the support for the Matildas was contrived bullshit from the beginning and was looking forward to peace and quiet from NPC’s … Read more
Australia to give skilled working visas to extra terrestrials to address skills shortage
The move comes as a US congressional hearing last week confirmed extra-terrestrials were real, leaving Australia to do what it does best and hand out visas to anyone they can.
Albanese announces Voice referendum to be delayed until Combatting Misinformation and Disinformation Bill has passed Parliament
Albanese stated that Voice Architect Mark Leibler and the WEF’s Julie Inman Grant urged him to delay the bill until they were confident they can censor and silence any opposition to the ultimate nation-stealing grift at will.
Western Australia withdraws bid to host Commonwealth Games after an Aboriginal Corporation demands $3 trillion
WA Premier Roger Cook has withdrawn a bid to host the Commonwealth Games, after the Nyoongar Aboriginal Corporation demanded at least $3 trillion to host the games.
New High Court of Australia ruling forces Voice to Parliament to be renamed to more accurate ‘Invoice to Parliament’
After an Aboriginal Corporation in WA demanded $2.5 million to plant a few trees along the Canning River, the High Court intervened and forced the name change.
Report finds Australia facing critical shortage of sickly Indian gradnparents leeching off of Medicare and public services
“The will streamline the process, and make it easier for Indians and other migrants to scuttle Medicare through sheer numbers, rather than the usual rort of flying in and using someone else’s Medicare card to get treatment.”
Harry Triguboff denies being seen in the vicinity of suspicious vacant warehouse fire in Melbourne CBD
Triguboff has denied any responsibility and claims he was doing stocktake at the time of the fire.
New $2 billion Labor social housing fund to absorb two days’ worth of immigration
The new fund is predicted to absorb housing demand for about two days’ worth of immigration, according to recent figures showing Australia was importing an average of 1500 people a day.
New texts reveal Macrobusiness’ David Llewellyn-Smith embroiled in Brittany Higgins scandal
The Higgins fake rape scandal claims another victim.