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Satire

Zali Steggall tells working-class man at service station to ‘just buy an electric car’ to combat fuel inflation

March 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Meanwhile, Josh Frydenberg has unveiled new ‘petrol mortgages’ to help the ‘average EZFKA unit realise the Australian dream of a full tank of petrol.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

Mike Cannon-Brookes calls Klaus Schwab for further advice on how to undermine Australia’s energy security

March 8, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The 2009 World Economic Forum Young Leader held a two hour teleconference with Schwab, discussing ways to send Australia back to the stone age and expedite the Great Reset.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

Australian man who only took vaccine to feed his family excited about inflation

March 8, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Chris Simmons, of Penrith, who suffered myocarditis from the Pfizer vaccine after being forced to take it for work, said he was excited about sky high food prices and the prospect of going from one manufactured crisis to the next.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 9 Comments

Lismore man who lost everything in floods thanks Albo for sending thoughts and prayers from Mardi Gras

March 7, 2022 by Timbo

Albanese said he will be scheduling more photo ops in the coming weeks and vowed ‘if Scomo doesn’t hold a shovel then I sure as hell won’t be getting my boots muddy.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 39 Comments

Tim Flannery quietly announces his retirement after record flooding on East Coast

March 3, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The man that pronounced it would never rain again has confirmed that he will not be participating in public debate, and that his decades long grift may have finally run it’s course.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 6 Comments

Australian property developers to assist with flood relief by building thousands of more homes in known flood plains

March 3, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The move comes as more homes are wiped out in NSW and Queensland due to record flooding in areas that are historicaly reknown for flooding.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Lismore man drowns in flood water after refusing rescue from unvaccinated SES volunteer

March 2, 2022 by Timbo

The SES has declined to comment on the matter, but is believed to be introducing a policy to ban anyone who is not triple vaccinated from saving lives.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 60 Comments

Albanese finally arrives in flood affected Queensland after finding a woman to hold his umbrella for him

March 2, 2022 by Timbo

Albanese will be touring the flood affected areas with Tim Flannery lecturing residents about climate change.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Satire 5 Comments

Australia to stand-up to China by confiscating remaining civilian firearms and shipping them to the Ukraine

March 1, 2022 by Timbo

Defence Minister Peter Dutton and Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews made the announcement of total firearm confiscations in a joint press conference, to show they were serious about protecting Australia.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 68 Comments

AFL umpires to wear defibrillators for 2022 season to fight climate change

March 1, 2022 by Timbo

EZFKAFL CEO Gillon MacLachlan has rejected claims that the move was purely to head off embarrassing on-field collapses unrelated to mandates and purely about reducing carbon emissions.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 15 Comments

As borders re-open, migrants and international students outraged there aren’t as many jobs to take from Australians

February 25, 2022 by Timbo

Migrants from India and Nepal have blasted the EZFKA government as being selfish to it’s own citizens, and have demanded more opportunities for visa holders to take Australian jobs and drive wages down further.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

Albanese promises to freeze bank accounts of those who don’t vote for the ALP at the next election

February 25, 2022 by Timbo

Albanese has also stated that the freezing of accounts will also apply to savers, union members and those who don’t own at least one investment property.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

New research shows direct correlation between WA border re-opening and AFL season starting

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

The report, released today by the Bread and Circus Institute, showed that the science demonstrated the re-opening of the border was to facilitate sportsball beginning in the second week of March, at the expense of everyone else.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 6 Comments

Study finds Australian climate activists really just rich fuckwits wanting to spend other people’s money

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

The report, released today by the For Thee Not Mee Institute, showed that the majority of EZFKA’s prominent climate activists are just insufferable fuckwits that want to pass the cost of their own lives and vanity on to the working class.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 24 Comments

Australian man undecided as to which World Economic Forum stooge to vote for at federal election

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

Mike Harrison, from Penrith, says the sheer number of WEF candidates on offer at the federal election made it a tougher choice than usual.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

Indigenous issues instantly solved as public servant acknowledges Aboriginal land in email signature block

February 15, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Department of Health employee Jane Goldberg, changed her email signature block to recognise that ‘we are on stolen land.’ Alcoholism, domestic violence, poverty, sex abuse and high crime vanished from remote communities overnight simultaneously in what has been described as a modern-day miracle.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Satire 146 Comments

Albo stands up for working class by telling working class to fuck off and stop protesting

February 15, 2022 by Minister Sinister

After a record crowd descended on Canberra at the weekend to protest the federal government’s vaccine mandates, Albo took the opportunity to tell them to fuck off home and stop whinging about their jobs and bodily autonomy.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 46 Comments

Nation in shock as North Shore progressive outed as massive hypocrite

February 15, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The ‘independent’ MP was exposed by the Sydney Morning Herald as accepting large donations from the coal industry, despite spending the last three years whinging about the need to reduce carbon emissions.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

WA Police confirm they won’t be enforcing mask mandates at synagogues, mosques or freemason lodges

February 11, 2022 by Timbo

The announcement comes after outcry at Police entering a church to enforce mandates surfaced last week, sparking condemnation. WA Police confirmed that the strategy was only targeted at white people, deemed as the most problematic.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

Sally McManus vows to oppose mass immigration until the federal election is over

February 10, 2022 by Timbo

McManus also vowed to divert union fees on gender equality and other woke causes until May.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 21 Comments

Victorian Government refers everyone who didn’t vote for the ALP to IBAC

February 10, 2022 by Timbo

After the Red Shirts scandal was referred to IBAC, a new counter-inquiry was immediately launched by the Andrews government. The terms of reference will also include anyone who didn’t vote for the Greens, Animal Justice or Reason Party, with public shaming, burnings and inquisitions to commence next week.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

Research finds no-one gives a fuck about Brittany Higgins and Grace Tame outside of Twitter

February 9, 2022 by Timbo

The research, conducted by the Who Gives A Fuck Institute, clearly showed that most of the EZFKA public couldn’t give a shit and that the National Press Club stunt was overwhelmingly deemed a ‘self-aggrandizing wank.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 39 Comments

Anthony Albanese slammed for not knowing the price of an Indian grandmother visa

February 7, 2022 by Timbo

After Scott Morrison was slammed for not knowing the price of bread and milk last week, Albanese was taken to task on not knowing the price of a parental visa when he intends to import at least 200,000 Indian grandmothers from the subcontinent this year under the Free Trade Agreement if elected.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 23 Comments

Bipartisan legislation introduced to ban white Australians from appearing in any form of advertising

February 4, 2022 by Timbo

Morrison clarified that the policy was the brainchild of chief advisor Yaron Finkelstein and that any form of advertisement featuring white people would be banned. The law had a particular focus on white couples.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Satire 29 Comments

Avi Yemeni looking forward to another weekend of collaborating with police to instigate violence and undermine protests in Canberra

February 4, 2022 by Timbo

The Israeli provocateur says he stood ready to turn peaceful protest on it’s head and instigate violence while hiding behind his bodyguard, as the Convoy to Canberra arrives in the nation’s capital.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

To save time and money, Australian election cancelled to allow Klaus Schwab to choose next Prime Minister

February 3, 2022 by Timbo

The move will see Klaus Schwab directly appoint the next leader of the EZFKA Global Administrative Region, and finally drop the pretense of any form of public participation in the direction of the nation.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 31 Comments

“We’re the party for women’ says Albo as he makes female assistant open car doors for him

February 2, 2022 by Timbo

umbrellas for him, was the truest expression of gender equality in EZFKA and brought back fond memories of being a complete mummy’s boy in Western Sydney.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 54 Comments

New season of Deal or No Deal just Andrew O’Keefe pleading in front of a magistrate

February 2, 2022 by Timbo

Former host Andrew O’Keefe has been brought back into the fold, who will be featured pleading in front of a magistrate in each episode on different domestic violence charges, either accepting or rejecting the sentence.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Missing persons report filed for Peter Fitzsimons after Muslim AFLW player refuses to wear pride jumper

January 28, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Israel Folau is also believed to have sent a signed copy of Lisa Wilkinson’s book to Fitzsimons’ residence which he ‘found in a dumpster out the back of Dymocks.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 124 Comments

Tennis Australia holds ‘Welcome to Country’ ceremony featuring live organ harvesting on Uyghurs at Australian Open

January 25, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Peng Shuai also livestreamed a thank you message during her latest water boarding session, to let her fans know that she was ok.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 27 Comments
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