HIV positive restaurant owner in Melbourne says “unvaccinated are unwelcome”
“We promote an inclusive and safe environment here at Dan Dan’s, but if you haven’t had both jabs then you aren’t welcome,” Morrison said.
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Brendan Murphy awarded Father of the Year, Scott Morrison furious
Former Federal Chief Medical Officer Professor Brendan Murphy has been awarded Father of the Year for 2021. Best known for his poor response to the Covid19 pandemic which included bungling the hotel quarantine system, Professor Murphy found out about the award in the days prior to Father’s day, claiming it was a “huge and unexpected … Read more
Brisbane bar to ban unvaccinated so patrons can destroy their health with alcohol
“Lockdown has provided us an opportunity to renovate. It’s all about public health, that’s why we’re also installing a special drunken violence space up the back and easy access ramp for drink drivers in our car park.”
Frydenberg calls Treasury crisis meeting after unvaccinated Australians celebrate never having to pay tax again
A spokesman for the ATO says they were currently working on ways to punish the unvaccinated and have proposed an unvaccinated tax. It is understood that several ASX200 companies have also applied for unvaccinated status.
RECESSION DODGED: Economy grows 0.7% in June quarter
The Australian economy rose 0.7% in seasonally adjusted chain volume measures GDP rose 1.4% in 2020-21 The terms of trade rose 7.0% Household saving ratio decreased to 9.7% from 11.6% https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/national-accounts/australian-national-accounts-national-income-expenditure-and-product/latest-release So I’m no economist and there’s people around these parts more in the know than me. But figured with all the satire it would … Read more
AFL players that just spent 100 minutes tackling each other and on the bottom of packs relieved goal posts disinfected
Premier Mark McGowan was quick to dismiss criticism that was just purely bullshit theatre and said he was committed to ‘keeping WA safe.”
“We’re all in this together” says man segregating unvaccinated Aboriginals out of Victoria
“I’d like to make the point again that we’re all in this together and we recognise that this is First Nations land. Except if you’re an unvaccinated Wurundjeri or Yorta Yorta, at which point you aren’t welcome.”
Ardern announces new “Hug a Terrorist” protocol for NZ Police following Auckland terror attack
The Economic Zone Formerly Known as New Zealand was rocked by a mass stabbing incident by an alleged Sri Lankan migrant, which left six people in critical condition in hospital. The new directive will require all NZ Police officers to resolve violent crime and terror attacks with a hug, especially if the offender is wearing … Read more
Weekend Links, 4-5 September 2021
Hi everyone and welcome back to the Weekend Links for 4-5 September 2021. We have lots of exciting stuff for you all today, and we will be starting out with this contribution from Neel Kolhatkar. He wants you to vote for Charlie D as PM, and realistically, Charlie D seems to have a good plan … Read more
AFL Grand Final to be played over six weeks after McGowan demands 14 days hotel quarantine between quarters
The first EZFKAFL Grand Final in Perth will be played over a six-week period, after Premier Mark McGowan ruled players will be required to quarantine for 14 days between quarters. McGowan is also demanding that players wear masks on the field at all times and that he reserved the right to cancel the game at … Read more
Chant, Sutton, Wiemar to headline 2022 Melbourne International Comedy Festival
Chief Health Officers in respective EZFKA states have been announced as headline acts for the 2022 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The 2022 event, sponsored by Pfizer, will feature the best of Australia’s material from daily press conferences performed live. “It’s been non-stop comedy gold every day at 11am, so we thought why don’t we ask … Read more
Daniel Andrews sets 70% as target for next move of goalposts
“When we get to that stage, I’ll be announcing what goalposts we’ll be shifting and what freedoms will be made dependent on what booster shots are available at the time and then changing them a week later,” Andrews said.