Australia: from rugged individualism to a nation of compliant cowards
Complying your way out of tyranny has never worked, so it’s always a great question to ask those same compliant people why the North Koreans aren’t the freest nation on earth?
Matthew Guy promises to oppose Andrews’ draconian COVID policies by implementing them at a slightly slower pace
“That’s why we’ll be advocating the same policies be rolled out over a longer time period, with a few different kinds of minor crumbs thrown here and there.”
“Unvaccinated will not be able to use hospitals” says Andrews while announcing second state-funded injecting room
“With another injection room, you can inject your recreational drugs and assault nurses in a safe environment, without fear of stigma or ostracization.”
Vaccine hesitant man finally persuaded after condescending lecture from Tim Minchin
“It’s clearly been shown that patronising messages from people who deem themselves above everyone else are received well. That’s what pushed me over the edge and now I’m double jabbed,” Dave said.
McGowan replaces cancelled AFL Grand Final parade with People’s Liberation Army parade
“This is particularly crucial as the iron ore price continues to sink and perhaps the only way that I can keep the border closed domestically.”
Daniel Andrews suspends social media accounts after power outage at Chinese military base
“I’d like to thank the bots for their outstanding work in boosting my profile, particular the other day when I was waving my two-tier society father’s day celebrations in their face. The professional photographer really enjoyed all the excess likes.”
An Alternative for EZFKA?
UAP have started a heavy advertising blitz to position themselves for the upcoming Federal election. Seconds into the add they indicate they are far more serious about this than any of the other minor parties with the statement they will run candidates for every seat in the House of reps, and the senate. Whether or … Read more
Flashback: Tiananmen Square students delighted to receive official authorisation from CCP to protest CCP
It is understood a delegation from EZFKA comprising of Australian Police Commissioners will also be in attendance, to study how best to manage the “Australian protests of the future.”
Sydney man makes shit 5G joke about vaccines after being diagnosed with myocarditis
“Well, I never really wanted to take the jab and I’ve now only got about 5 years to live with a 66% mortality rate and shit quality of life. But hey, at least being snarky about 5G and putting something on social media was worth ending my life prematurely for.”
Struggling small businesses applaud Daniel Andrews for banning 30% of their customer base
“I applaud a man that’s never run a business and worked exclusively in government his entire career to make a tough call like this,” John Stapleton of Small Business Victoria said.
HIV positive restaurant owner in Melbourne says “unvaccinated are unwelcome”
“We promote an inclusive and safe environment here at Dan Dan’s, but if you haven’t had both jabs then you aren’t welcome,” Morrison said.
Brendan Murphy awarded Father of the Year, Scott Morrison furious
Former Federal Chief Medical Officer Professor Brendan Murphy has been awarded Father of the Year for 2021. Best known for his poor response to the Covid19 pandemic which included bungling the hotel quarantine system, Professor Murphy found out about the award in the days prior to Father’s day, claiming it was a “huge and unexpected … Read more