“It’s clearly been shown that patronising messages from people who deem themselves above everyone else are received well. That’s what pushed me over the edge and now I’m double jabbed,” Dave said.
“This is particularly crucial as the iron ore price continues to sink and perhaps the only way that I can keep the border closed domestically.”
“I’d like to thank the bots for their outstanding work in boosting my profile, particular the other day when I was waving my two-tier society father’s day celebrations in their face. The professional photographer really enjoyed all the excess likes.”
UAP have started a heavy advertising blitz to position themselves for the upcoming Federal election. Seconds into the add they indicate they are far more serious about this than any of the other minor parties with the statement they will run candidates for every seat in the House of reps, and the senate. Whether or … Read more
It is understood a delegation from EZFKA comprising of Australian Police Commissioners will also be in attendance, to study how best to manage the “Australian protests of the future.”
“Well, I never really wanted to take the jab and I’ve now only got about 5 years to live with a 66% mortality rate and shit quality of life. But hey, at least being snarky about 5G and putting something on social media was worth ending my life prematurely for.”
“I applaud a man that’s never run a business and worked exclusively in government his entire career to make a tough call like this,” John Stapleton of Small Business Victoria said.
“We promote an inclusive and safe environment here at Dan Dan’s, but if you haven’t had both jabs then you aren’t welcome,” Morrison said.
Former Federal Chief Medical Officer Professor Brendan Murphy has been awarded Father of the Year for 2021. Best known for his poor response to the Covid19 pandemic which included bungling the hotel quarantine system, Professor Murphy found out about the award in the days prior to Father’s day, claiming it was a “huge and unexpected … Read more
“Lockdown has provided us an opportunity to renovate. It’s all about public health, that’s why we’re also installing a special drunken violence space up the back and easy access ramp for drink drivers in our car park.”
A spokesman for the ATO says they were currently working on ways to punish the unvaccinated and have proposed an unvaccinated tax. It is understood that several ASX200 companies have also applied for unvaccinated status.
The Australian economy rose 0.7% in seasonally adjusted chain volume measures GDP rose 1.4% in 2020-21 The terms of trade rose 7.0% Household saving ratio decreased to 9.7% from 11.6% https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/national-accounts/australian-national-accounts-national-income-expenditure-and-product/latest-release So I’m no economist and there’s people around these parts more in the know than me. But figured with all the satire it would … Read more