EZFKA

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews is reportedly upset about the odds and has vowed to double down until the award is announced in late December.

Claims of ‘right-wing extremism’ and a rise in ‘angry, anti-government rhetoric online’ has caused concern for authoritarians across the nation, with calls from security contract lobbyists for added protection for MP’s.

Wentworth Liberal MP and former ambassador to Israel Dave Sharma welcomed the study’s findings, saying it will help him to ‘solidify his already burgeoning share portfolio.’

Victorian Governor Linda Dessau has been reported missing to Victoria Police, after not being seen in 18 months while the Andrews government turns into Romania 2.0

“I think we can put to bed that whole ‘rugged Aussie bloke’ stereotype that questions authority, which is really only found in regional parts of Qld and WA these days. Most of them have turned into effeminate soft cocks who will do what they’re told by some public servant, at the drop of a hat.”

Citizens broke out into panic and confusion, with many unable to breathe or put one foot in front of the other. Already overwhelmed hospitals were overwhelmed with injuries from those that fell over from forgetting how to walk.

John Howard said he was concerned with the study and will look at ways to increase further fear of firearms, including a ‘potential Port Arthur 2.0.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with taking a few precautions, much like John Howard wearing a vest in Sale in 1996,” Morrison said.

“I mean, it will only create a giant centralised information hub that can ban you from society at the push of a button for saying something we don’t like online, but remember it’s total optional.”

“Everyone in the room was shocked, they’d been asking Dorothy Dixers and leading questions for months,” Stevenson said.