EZFKA

Victorian Governor Linda Dessau has been reported missing to Victoria Police, after not being seen in 18 months while the Andrews government turns into Romania 2.0

“I think we can put to bed that whole ‘rugged Aussie bloke’ stereotype that questions authority, which is really only found in regional parts of Qld and WA these days. Most of them have turned into effeminate soft cocks who will do what they’re told by some public servant, at the drop of a hat.”

Citizens broke out into panic and confusion, with many unable to breathe or put one foot in front of the other. Already overwhelmed hospitals were overwhelmed with injuries from those that fell over from forgetting how to walk.

John Howard said he was concerned with the study and will look at ways to increase further fear of firearms, including a ‘potential Port Arthur 2.0.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with taking a few precautions, much like John Howard wearing a vest in Sale in 1996,” Morrison said.

“I mean, it will only create a giant centralised information hub that can ban you from society at the push of a button for saying something we don’t like online, but remember it’s total optional.”

“Everyone in the room was shocked, they’d been asking Dorothy Dixers and leading questions for months,” Stevenson said.

“Whether it’s Dr Norman Swan getting it wrong all the time, the Doherty Institute’s cash-for-comment alarmism or any state premier press conference, there is a dearth of content to choose from,” a spokesman said.

The study, conducted by the Rodney King Institute, found that violence only begins once Victoria Police arrive and open fire on unarmed protestors.

“I’d like to make the point again, we spent the last 18 months destroying your lives, so you should be grateful you’re getting freedoms back that aren’t ours to give back anyway.”

“If you’ve ordered a latte and it’s really a cappuccino then you will be dealt with,” Commissioner Shane Patton said.