A huge wave of anxiety and panic attacks have broken out across EZFKA, after the Australian government failed to give instructions on what it’s citizens should do for a full five minutes.
Citizens broke out into panic and confusion, with many unable to breathe or put one foot in front of the other. Already overwhelmed hospitals were overwhelmed with injuries from those that fell over from forgetting how to walk.
Local man Davo, 45, said Melbourne was hit particularly hard with no Premier to lecture them on a state level.
“It was like was one of those zombie movies. People were freaking out that they didn’t have some fuckwit public servant lecturing them about what they could or couldn’t do,” Dave said.
“I apologise profusely for that and it won’t happen again,” PM Scott Morrison said.
Morrison said QR check-in procedures for breathing, drinking water and taking a shit would be fast tracked as a priority.