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New study finds direct correlation between Australian lockdowns and expiration dates of state of emergency powers

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A new study has found a direct correlation between Australian lockdowns and the expiration dates of state of emergency powers. The study, from the Institute of Non-Globalist Shitcunts, has found that lockdowns always occur when state of emergency powers are due to expire or when significant holidays are about to commence. “We’ve found that state … Read more

Victorian public servant with guaranteed income bravely tweets support for fifth lockdown while working from home

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A Victorian public sector worker in Brunswick has bravely shown solidarity with locked down Victorians on Twitter last night. After the fifth lockdown in the state of Victoria announced yesterday, Department of Health VPS6 executive manager Jane Davidson took to Twitter to show her support for Daniel Andrews from the comfort of her living room. … Read more

Mark McGowan waves to Aussie troops at Talisman Sabre from onboard Chinese surveillance ship

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WA Premier Mark McGowan has sent his regards to Australian troops participating in Talisman Sabre war games in Queensland, from a Chinese surveillance ship parked offshore. Ex-Navy legal officer McGowan waved to Australian military personnel from the deck of the People’s Liberation Army Navy ship Yu So Fukd this week, and was honoured for his … Read more

Weekend Links, 17-18 July, 2021

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GTA SA

Welcome to the Weekend Links for 17-18 July 2021! We are really happy you are all here, and are hoping for a good weekend of argy-bargy. So this week South Africa got exciting, but so did Cuba and there are rumors of excitement in Georgia and Tajikistan too. All this is happening as the stories … Read more

New Melbourne Quarantine Facility to be named “Glorious Linfox Centre For COVID Re-Education Through Hard Labour”

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Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has announced that the upcoming quarantine facility to be built outside Melbourne, will be named “Glorious Linfox Centre For COVID Re-Education Through Hard Labour” The deal comes as lockdowns rage throughout Australia. The new facility will house “anti-vaxxers, returning citizens and anyone having political opinions not reflective of a fair, diverse … Read more

Frewen promises mandatory lead injections for those who refuse ”totally not mandatory” injection

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COVID Commander Lieutenant John Frewen has announced that summary executions will take place should Australians refuse the COVID vaccine. “We call it the Aussie version of the Escobar doctrine – plata o plomo. But this time it’s graphene oxide in place of the silver,” Frewen said. “Australians haven’t read the recent legislation in WA and … Read more

Scott Morrison announces new “Star of COVID” for those Australians who refuse the jab

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Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced that Australians that refuse to take a COVID vaccine or get a vaccine passport will be issued a “Star of COVID” as a raft of globally co-ordinated measures hit Australia. The move comes after many Australians have refused to take the vaccine, citing numerous safety concerns, blatant coercion and … Read more

Greg Hunt denies vaccine statistics “made up” after record 4 trillion Australians vaccinated yesterday

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Health Minister Greg Hunt has denied accusations that his vaccine uptake statistics are completely made up, after claiming 4 trillion Australians were vaccinated yesterday. The Minister stated the numbers were 560% accurate and that no inflation of statistics or deceptiveness, such as the difference between offering vaccines in aged care and taking them, had occurred. … Read more

Lockdown forever?

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A quick thought experiment to cause absolutely no controversy whatsoever. What happens if covid restrictions end up being proven to prevent the 1000-4000 flu deaths that happen in Australia every year? Do we relax restrictions and accept that people will die, many more than covid has killed here. Or do we lock down forever? Why … Read more