A new study has found a direct correlation between Australian lockdowns and the expiration dates of state of emergency powers.
The study, from the Institute of Non-Globalist Shitcunts, has found that lockdowns always occur when state of emergency powers are due to expire or when significant holidays are about to commence.
“We’ve found that state Premiers now have to start the case numbers a bit further out from the actual expiration date to not make it so obvious. Usually, some bullshit backstory about people attending the footy or some other mass gathering event so normies will believe it. They also have to drip feed the lockdown, by saying initially it’s only 5 days and then extending it out for a month as was planned,” Dr Hugh Jass said.
“Scapegoating people for getting sick and throwing the book at them appeals to the authoritarian, low IQ dickheads out there too. We’ve also found that long weekends and school holidays are specifically chosen, to maximise psychological demoralisation of the populace and get them to vaccination centres.”
Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews disputed the findings and vowed to keep on locking down, despite his state of emergency powers expiring on July 29th.
“I don’t accept the premise of the study. I’m working on the best health advice from the World Economic Forum that is not publicly available. We’re all in this together, and Victorians need to roll up their sleeves and get this clinical trial done, otherwise there will be no freedoms ever again. You weren’t going to get them back anyway.”