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Satire

Xi defeats Albanese in landslide after Chinese citizens allowed to vote in Australian federal election

July 9, 2022 by Timbo

The victory was lauded as a result of the endless demoralisation project of Australia into EZFKA, a process which began in the 1970’s and expedited with New Zealand citizens being the first foreigners able to vote in Australian elections.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 5 Comments

Albanese announces aid package for flood affected Sydney residents of $100 million worth of fridges from Victoria

July 5, 2022 by Timbo

Albanese said he will be returning to the flood affected area next week for a quick photo-op and then on his way out of the country again.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Epic scenes across Australia as “My Body, My Choice” protestors come out of hibernation after two years

July 2, 2022 by Timbo

Victorian Reason Party MLC Fiona Patten sacrificed a child to Moloch on the steps of Victorian Parliament in support of the protestors, and was looking at legislation to introduce abortion up to 28 days after birth.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 11 Comments

Metropolitan Detention Centre announces cameras in Ghislaine Maxwell’s cell will be down for scheduled maintenance indefinitely

June 27, 2022 by Timbo

Maxwell, 60, is due to be sentenced this week for her part in a child sex trafficking ring led by Jeffrey Epstein and was placed on suicide watch yesterday, ahead of some scheduled camera servicing in her cell.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 82 Comments

As Australia implodes, local conservative satisfied unmasking shitty Twitter account he could’ve just ignored is the hill to die on

June 25, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Dave Kennedy, from Sydney, donated large amounts of money to grifter of the year Avi Yemeni in his court battle to unmask PRguy17. Kennedy believes the mounting numbers of crises including energy, hospital, inflation and supply change need to take a back seat for a while.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 19 Comments

Andrews credits vaccine mandates, world record lockdowns and Police brutality for Melbourne returning to top of World’s Most Liveable City poll

June 23, 2022 by Timbo

The annual poll of property developers, immigration lobbyists and World Economic Forum members agreed with Andrews that the brutality, not seen since communist Russia, in the world’s most locked down city last year got it over the line.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 84 Comments

Drag Queen Story Time mandates included as part of Victoria’s Free Childcare Package

June 17, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Victorian parents will be able to access free childcare only at centres across the state that are staffed exclusively by paedophiles posing as entertainers.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 17 Comments

Bunnings introduces ‘pay by facial scan only’ policy for snags

June 16, 2022 by Minister Sinister

From next month, shoppers will only be allowed to pay by facial recognition, with those who pay with cash instantly apprehended and sent to camps in China’s Xinjiang Province.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 11 Comments

New Zealand housing market saved after BlackRock purchases entire North Island

June 16, 2022 by Minister Sinister

EZFKNZ PM Jacinda Ardern brokered the deal last week in New York, after a meeting with CEO Larry Fink to save NZ’s housing market and rescue the land-owning class. The deal also secures exclusive naming rights for BlackRock to the North Island.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 1 Comment

Lismore man who lost everything in floods glad family of illegal migrants getting everything they want

June 14, 2022 by Timbo

Chris Carnegie, from Lismore, lost his house, small business and all of his possessions in the flooding and has been living in a tent for weeks with no assistance from government or anyone else.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

Mike Cannon-Brookes tells Australians to just eat insects if they can’t afford to cook with gas or electricity

June 14, 2022 by Timbo

The self-described ‘insufferable fuckwit’ stated that Australians needed to rethink their lifestyle and consumption habits if they can’t afford it. Cannon-Brookes used the opportunity to promote his personal investments of cricket flour while eating a gas-cooked bbq snag from his local RSL.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Queensland Greens voter enjoying first weeks of Net Zero with no electricity

June 14, 2022 by Timbo

Jane Crenshaw, from Indooripilly, who tweeted ‘GREENSLAND’ just after the election, further tweeted that having no electricity was just the price to pay to save the planet.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 12 Comments
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