Victoria Police disappointed they haven’t shot any protestors recently
Over 20,000 marched in the city on the weekend to protest the pending pandemic legislation, with many officers upset they had to stand back and watch rather than open fire.
Weekend Links, 6-7 November 2021
Welcome to the Weekend Links for the 6-7 of November 2021. Really glad that you are here, and hope you have had a good week and are looking forward to a brilliant weekend. As per usual, this week is full of hilarious outcomes … or outcomes where you need to laugh to keep your sanity … Read more
Morrison wins $1 million reward for finding Cleo Smith
Western Australia’s Police Commissioner says a $1 million reward offered to find missing four-year-old Cleo Smith has now been awarded to Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who claimed to have prayed for her safety. The Prime Minister, who was in Glasgow at the time Cleo was found, forwarded his application for the reward to the WA … Read more
McGowan calls Joe Biden after shitting his pants looking at the iron ore price
McGowan called the President for advice on how to deal with the public embarrassment and coping strategies, as iron ore continues to plummet below $100 a ton.
92% of the women had a spontaneous miscarriage in the first 13 weeks!
This is all a bit sad, but since no one else seems to be keeping track of this, I guess I can do it for a bit. The first is an update for the ladies! Hope you are going well. Hope you have already had your allocated rug rats, or both you and your partner … Read more
Morrison proposes new “Great Replacement” immigration program to restart Australian economy
After months of firing people for not submitting to an experimental medical procedure, Morrison said the time was ripe for replacing skilled EZFKA workers with lower wage, foreign counterparts.
Victorian Labor Party members file lost property reports for missing testicles after new pandemic powers pass lower house
“All it will take is a few dissenting members to grow a set and dissent on the vote. Although that’s too much to ask from some of them clearly.”
Jacinda Ardern forced into self-isolation with hurt feelings after being confronted with question she didn’t pre-approve
“People need to understand that words are violence and that asking unauthorised questions are considered an act of terrorism. I would like to remind New Zealand that the government is the sole source of accredited truth.”
Xi promises to delete blackmail tapes of Daniel Andrews if permanent pandemic legislation passes upper house
The tapes, which apparently are of Daniel Andrews in many compromising positions on his last trip to China, will be deleted if the legislation passes.
Australian book stores move Lisa Wilkinson’s autobiography into fiction section
he move comes after claims of Wilkinson’s move to Channel Ten over a gender pay gap dispute were found to be largely bullshit and purely about money.
“We’ll never win another election ever again” ALP furious at new voter ID legislation
Opposition leader Anthony Albanese stated his party will be disproportionately impacted by the proposals, particularly in the migrant areas at the state level.
Australian journalists set for another gruelling summer of blaming annual bushfire season on climate change
“The COP26 summit couldn’t be better timed as a lead-in to summer. Confronting China and India over pollution is quite clearly racist, so soft target yellow journalism it is.”