EZFKA

Annastacia Palaszczuk, Yvette D’arth, Jeanette Young and Kerry Chant have all joined forces to support jabbing kids with COVID vaccines, as soon as humanly possible.

Trioli will remain off-air for the week after several patronising outbursts on Twitter in relation to the protests drove her over the edge.

Andrews called protestors extremists, despite months of Victoria Police-led bashings, shootings and general violence and arrests of political dissent.

Stenographers from across the media have lashed out on Twitter, saying they’re disappointed that they weren’t able to go on yet another insufferable, bullshit tirade about ‘Americans and Guns’ and that they’ll be praying for another mass casualty event to stand on the graves of the Port Arthur victims again.

As the flights to EZFKA return, foreign students say they are already looking to do fuck all and get their degrees off the backs of locals, while checking out the property market for their parents.

Capp says the move will hopefully drive property prices back up to sustainable levels while international students remain outside EZFKA.

The strain was uncovered right after the new Omicron variant was released last week, sending thousands of EZFKA residents back under their bed and reaching for the Depends.

The study, conducted by the Cash For Comment institute, has found that the latest Omnicron variant has appeared just as protest numbers nationwide reach record numbers and Victoria is set to vote on the permanent pandemic legislation.

Under the new rule, teams would be allowed to forfeit if too many players collapse from heart attacks during the game, however the opposing side would be awarded the win and the three points. Forfeit would also mean automatic elimination from the FFA Cup.

The move, which has horrified everyone at ASIO, will be ‘a boon for Australia’s strategic defence and real estate sector’ according to Morrison.