EZFKA scientists have uncovered a new COVID variant which is being dubbed the ‘No-one gives a fuck’ strain, originating from South Africa.
The strain was uncovered right after the new Omicron variant was released last week, sending thousands of EZFKA residents back under their bed and reaching for the Depends.
“The strain was released to genuine non-concern from most people, except those neurotic bed-wetters that have neglected their health for years and watch TV regularly,” Dr James Jamieton said.
“This one should just be treated like the rest as a complete WOFTAM, but there are many people out there that have made this entire thing part of their identity, so who knows.”
Mainstream media journalists have vowed to ratchet fear porn up to even higher levels in response to the variant.