Satire

The strain was uncovered right after the new Omicron variant was released last week, sending thousands of EZFKA residents back under their bed and reaching for the Depends.

The study, conducted by the Cash For Comment institute, has found that the latest Omnicron variant has appeared just as protest numbers nationwide reach record numbers and Victoria is set to vote on the permanent pandemic legislation.

Under the new rule, teams would be allowed to forfeit if too many players collapse from heart attacks during the game, however the opposing side would be awarded the win and the three points. Forfeit would also mean automatic elimination from the FFA Cup.

The move, which has horrified everyone at ASIO, will be ‘a boon for Australia’s strategic defence and real estate sector’ according to Morrison.

The Premier has made it clear that another move of goalposts is scheduled for December 15th, much to the dismay of copium addicts still believing anything the LNP says.

Lambie was reportedly offered 7 figures in exchange for her soul, with Satan and Pfizer CEO Albert Boula agreeing to terms with the independent earlier this year.

David Erikson from the North Shore, said it was a hard decision voting for which proxy of billionaire property moguls will destroy his suburb with high rise apartments and mass immigration.

The study, conducted by the Pay Us Protection Money Institute, found that black shirted government officials enforcing COVID mandates were essentially useless and should ‘go fuck themselves.’

Gunner is currently paying $1.05 after slightly nudging out Jacqui Lambie, Daniel Andrews and Scott Morrison for the top spot. Gunner’s recent unhinged performances on television this past week have him as the favourite to bring the book of revelation to reality.

The video, released on Youtube last night by the Corporate Media Are Fucking Cringe Assciation, is a detailed instructional to de-program your family members and stop them from listening to anything David Koch or Natalie Barr says.

The struggling hospitality sector, which spent the last 18 months bending over for government mandates, is delighted that cheap imported labour is back to save the day and the EZFKA spirit of exploitation is in vogue again.

“We’ve tried labelling them Nazis over and over again, but people can see that’s just a complete wank. God help us if they ever read about what the Bolsheviks did because it is Soviet Russia all over again.”