Satire

Several million tons of plastic was dumped just south of Perth, with millions of tons of used COVID tests and masks making their way into the ground.

After an attempted honour killing in Adelaide last month which saw Afghani migrants attempt to kill their daughter, Faruqi was quick to heap praise on ritual murder.

Dr Harold Jenkins of the Midwit Institute said despite the ridiculous Djokovic saga likely being a distraction from something else, the proliferations of shitty opinions from people who know very little about immigration was at record levels, particularly among middle class white women.

Cadets through to senior journalists have been working overtime without pay since December, in preparation for sowing more division and painting anyone who isn’t white as a victim of systemic oppression.

The tennis champion has called the family’s lawyer, for advice on how to drag out frivolous appeals for years, charge the tax payer and even run media sob stories to stir up childless white women, so he can play in each year’s EZFKA Open.

Newtown woman Sarah O’Neil, was taken into custody and after she ratted herself out for not uploading her RAT under new guidelines.

McGowan, fresh off a cringe video urging Aboriginals to get vaccinated, stressed the importance of getting ahead of the curve and meeting Pfizer KPI’s.

The arrival of the Omicron variant has significantly impacted nursing staff levels, with nurses struggling to rehearse routines and work at underwhelmed hospitals.

Albanese stated that this would be an integral part of the Belt and Road deal. The Port of Darwin, the Port of Newcastle and Chatswood have all been listed as potential sites for an EZFKA rail hub.

The data analysis, conducted by the Who Gives A Shit Institute, found that only a handful of people tuned in for round one and that running the season in January when there’s fuck all else on to compete with was the only reason people tuned in at all.

The study, conducted by the Gibmedats Institute, found that the majority of people lining up were really lining up to put their hands in their fellow tax payers’ pockets and not their health.

Michelle Rosenbaum, from Fitzroy, showed her ‘solidarity with Home Affairs’ and lauded the decision by Karen Andrews from her job as a volunteer at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre.