Study finds direct correlation with COVID testing queues and government handouts

A breakthrough study has found that EZFKA testing queues are largely due to the amount of payments being given to people for missing work due to COVID tests.

The study, conducted by the Gibmedats Institute, found that the majority of people lining up were really lining up to put their hands in their fellow tax payers’ pockets and not their health.

“The people lining up are a mix of different causes, but the overwhelming factor is the COVID payments being handed out by both federal and state governments,” Dr Gary McGarry said.

“There is also the hypochondriac element and the naive who still think they’re able to travel hassle free, but they’re outnumbered now.”

“Why wouldn’t you if you’re going to get a heap of cash, particularly in Victoria. If there’s one thing this country loves it’s a handout. This is EZFKA after all, where the creed of ‘someone else’s money’ reigns supreme.”

National Cabinet will meet tomorrow to consider raising the COVID payment, with a focus on investment property owners.

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So how much free money can you grab if you fill out all the right paperwork after testing positive?

Agent 47

In Victoria if you play it right you can get up to $1200.



I’ve lost work and money through Palletchooks border closures, and it’s still ongoing.
I wont feel guilty accessing those payments.


Feeling guilty about accessing payments is a relic of a time long passed.


True. Nowadays it’s all for one and everyone for themselves


This is true. I sincerely believe most are public servants &/or work for govt depts in one form or another