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Satire

Millions of Australians suddenly become immigration experts as Djokovic case continues

January 15, 2022 by Timbo

Dr Harold Jenkins of the Midwit Institute said despite the ridiculous Djokovic saga likely being a distraction from something else, the proliferations of shitty opinions from people who know very little about immigration was at record levels, particularly among middle class white women.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 12 Comments

SBS journalists ‘pulling all-nighters’ in preparation for annual Hate White Australia Day celebrations

January 15, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Cadets through to senior journalists have been working overtime without pay since December, in preparation for sowing more division and painting anyone who isn’t white as a victim of systemic oppression.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 45 Comments

Djokovic calls Bileola family for advice on how to tie up Australian court system with endless, bullshit visa appeals

January 15, 2022 by Timbo

The tennis champion has called the family’s lawyer, for advice on how to drag out frivolous appeals for years, charge the tax payer and even run media sob stories to stir up childless white women, so he can play in each year’s EZFKA Open.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 5 Comments

NSW woman reports herself to COVID dob-in line after failing to report her RAT results

January 14, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Newtown woman Sarah O’Neil, was taken into custody and after she ratted herself out for not uploading her RAT under new guidelines.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

McGowan urges Western Australians to book ahead for their 4th, 5th and 6th booster shots to avoid overwhelming the system

January 14, 2022 by Minister Sinister

McGowan, fresh off a cringe video urging Aboriginals to get vaccinated, stressed the importance of getting ahead of the curve and meeting Pfizer KPI’s.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 48 Comments

Victorian nurse shortage due to rehearsals for Tik Tok dance routines

January 14, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The arrival of the Omicron variant has significantly impacted nursing staff levels, with nurses struggling to rehearse routines and work at underwhelmed hospitals.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 5 Comments

Albanese promises high speed rail link direct to China in election bid

January 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

Albanese stated that this would be an integral part of the Belt and Road deal. The Port of Darwin, the Port of Newcastle and Chatswood have all been listed as potential sites for an EZFKA rail hub.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 38 Comments

Nation doesn’t give a fuck as AFLW returns

January 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The data analysis, conducted by the Who Gives A Shit Institute, found that only a handful of people tuned in for round one and that running the season in January when there’s fuck all else on to compete with was the only reason people tuned in at all.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 18 Comments

Study finds direct correlation with COVID testing queues and government handouts

January 10, 2022 by Minister Sinister

The study, conducted by the Gibmedats Institute, found that the majority of people lining up were really lining up to put their hands in their fellow tax payers’ pockets and not their health.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 6 Comments

Melbourne refugee advocate now loves tough immigration laws after successful, straight white male has visa cancelled

January 6, 2022 by Timbo

Michelle Rosenbaum, from Fitzroy, showed her ‘solidarity with Home Affairs’ and lauded the decision by Karen Andrews from her job as a volunteer at the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 15 Comments

Novak Djokovic releases new line of table salt exclusive to Victoria to commemorate Australian Open exemption

January 6, 2022 by Timbo

The table salt is said to contain the tears of every ALP voter in the state, harvested fresh from testing centres around the state.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 81 Comments

History made as Australia Post hire delivery rider that isn’t Indian student working illegally

January 5, 2022 by Timbo

Peter Smith, who was recently let go from his other job due to jab mandates, was the first hire in over 5 years that wasn’t an Indian student breaching his visa conditions somehow.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 17 Comments
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