Tennis star Novak Djokovic has announced he is releasing a new line of salts to commemorate his vaccine exemption to play in the 2022 Australian Open.
The table salt is said to contain the tears of every ALP voter in the state, harvested fresh from COVID testing centres around the state.
“I’m really excited to release this product ahead of the Australian Open. It will go perfect with your chips while you’re watching the AFL do whatever the fuck they want and not feeling as outraged about that for some reason,” Djokovic said.
“I’ve been nice enough to send some sample copies to every mainstream journalist and ALP voter in the state, after all if it’s free then you are the product.”
It is understood that the salt will also contain added oestrogen and soy specifically native to Melbourne, with Daniel Andrews set to star in upcoming advertisements during the tournament.