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Timbo

AFL umpires to wear defibrillators for 2022 season to fight climate change

March 1, 2022 by Timbo

EZFKAFL CEO Gillon MacLachlan has rejected claims that the move was purely to head off embarrassing on-field collapses unrelated to mandates and purely about reducing carbon emissions.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 15 Comments

Australia needs to brace for Schwabbian cyberattacks, CBDC’s and Digital ID’s

February 28, 2022 by Timbo

As it stands we now have the media planting the idea of cyber attacks as part of the conflict, which is an amazing coincidence because this is just what the World Economic Forum was war gaming just last year.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Australian Politics, Economy, Ukraine 64 Comments

As borders re-open, migrants and international students outraged there aren’t as many jobs to take from Australians

February 25, 2022 by Timbo

Migrants from India and Nepal have blasted the EZFKA government as being selfish to it’s own citizens, and have demanded more opportunities for visa holders to take Australian jobs and drive wages down further.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

Albanese promises to freeze bank accounts of those who don’t vote for the ALP at the next election

February 25, 2022 by Timbo

Albanese has also stated that the freezing of accounts will also apply to savers, union members and those who don’t own at least one investment property.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

New research shows direct correlation between WA border re-opening and AFL season starting

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

The report, released today by the Bread and Circus Institute, showed that the science demonstrated the re-opening of the border was to facilitate sportsball beginning in the second week of March, at the expense of everyone else.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 6 Comments

Study finds Australian climate activists really just rich fuckwits wanting to spend other people’s money

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

The report, released today by the For Thee Not Mee Institute, showed that the majority of EZFKA’s prominent climate activists are just insufferable fuckwits that want to pass the cost of their own lives and vanity on to the working class.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 24 Comments

Australian man undecided as to which World Economic Forum stooge to vote for at federal election

February 22, 2022 by Timbo

Mike Harrison, from Penrith, says the sheer number of WEF candidates on offer at the federal election made it a tougher choice than usual.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 16 Comments

Aussie Cossack gets called out at protest

February 13, 2022 by Timbo

The last two years we’ve seen a lot of independent media and personalities spring up in response to the growing tyrannical behaviour of the Australian ruling class. Some of them good, some of them average, some of them just blatant grifters and provocateurs.

Categories Uncategorized Tags Australian Politics, Opinion 22 Comments

WA Police confirm they won’t be enforcing mask mandates at synagogues, mosques or freemason lodges

February 11, 2022 by Timbo

The announcement comes after outcry at Police entering a church to enforce mandates surfaced last week, sparking condemnation. WA Police confirmed that the strategy was only targeted at white people, deemed as the most problematic.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

Sally McManus vows to oppose mass immigration until the federal election is over

February 10, 2022 by Timbo

McManus also vowed to divert union fees on gender equality and other woke causes until May.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 21 Comments

Victorian Government refers everyone who didn’t vote for the ALP to IBAC

February 10, 2022 by Timbo

After the Red Shirts scandal was referred to IBAC, a new counter-inquiry was immediately launched by the Andrews government. The terms of reference will also include anyone who didn’t vote for the Greens, Animal Justice or Reason Party, with public shaming, burnings and inquisitions to commence next week.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

Research finds no-one gives a fuck about Brittany Higgins and Grace Tame outside of Twitter

February 9, 2022 by Timbo

The research, conducted by the Who Gives A Fuck Institute, clearly showed that most of the EZFKA public couldn’t give a shit and that the National Press Club stunt was overwhelmingly deemed a ‘self-aggrandizing wank.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 39 Comments
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