Lifeline putting on extra staff in case Novak Djokovic wins Australian Open

Lifeline Australia is putting on extra staff this evening in anticipation of Novak Djokovic winning the Australian Open.

The organisation expects to field a record number of calls from triple vaccinated Victorians considering self-harm, should Djokovic win the title after being banned for not taking the jab.

“In spite of staff shortages, we’ve managed to source some despatch operators to handle an expected increase in vaccinated people from Melbourne unable to deal with the problem,” a spokesman said.

“I mean, Victoria is full of self-loathing, rule-following, gutless fags who rubbed one out to Dan Andrews press conferences for two years so it’s no surprise the bulk of calls will be from there.”

Bill Gates has also called for a new pandemic in the case of a Djokovic win and has reportedly been in talks with Daniel Andrews for a new bioweapon facility at the Moderna plant, currently being built in Melbourne.

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There’s no more tragic a plight than that of the NPC that falls behind on its software updates. COVID was a good moneymaker and a good opportunity to larp as North Korea but it’s over now.

Agent 47



and the poetic justice has spoken.
Novax seems more youthful than the crypussysouvlakis whom is 10 yrs younger

Interestingly, the shit throwing contest around Novax’s dad seems as a well executed provocation with substantial plausible deniability, to rattle the cage of cage animals.