Daniel Andrews solves Victoria’s ambulance crisis by renaming Ambulance Victoria
The Premier moved quickly to rename Ambulance Victoria to Victoria Ambulance and proudly declare that there were no staff shortages.
Minister Sinister
Friendlyjordies, Betoota Advocate, Chaser, Juice Media announce retirement after ALP election win due to suddenly having no material
Friendlyjordies, The Betoota Advocate, The Chaser and The Juice Media have all announced they’re calling it quits just days after their beloved team red was elected.
GoFundMe to crowdfund nuclear strike on Davos during WEF annual meeting reaches goal in 10 seconds
A similar GofundMe to launch a simultaneous nuclear strike on Geneva while the WHO Treaty is taking countries’ sovereignty also reached it’s goal in under a minute.
Lefty journo bravely criticises Ben Roberts-Smith and SASR from behind desk in Melbourne
Nick McKenzie has been praised for his continuing work on the globalist agenda to demoralise the Australian military, with a months long smear piece against the soldier and the regiment in general.
Report: Labor MP Richard Marles ‘guest of honour’ on board Chinese intelligence ship off of WA coast
Marles was aboard the ship and was touring the WA coast inspecting potential landing sites for a PLAN invasion in the near future.
“A real win for democide” Melbourne Communists celebrate Swastika Ban
The Victorian Bolshevik Association hailed the move with tributes to Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, Stalin and Mao at their headquarters in Caufield. Greens leader Adam Bandt was also in attendance.
Go Fund Me to throw Alan Joyce out of a plane reaches goal in five minutes
The Go Fund Me, which will hire a group of mercenaries to kidknap Alan Joyce and then ‘throw the cunt out the door at 30,000 feet’ reached it’s million-dollar goal in five minutes.
Karen Andrews announces crackdown on foreign interference by allowing Chinese to attack Australians criticising Xi in Sydney
Anthony Albanese said he 100% supports the move and will introduce legislation to ban Australians from defending themselves from any kind of foreign attack if re-elected.
Australian Electoral Commission releases instructional video on how to get your dead relatives to vote for Albo
The video, featuring World Economic Forum Klaus Schwab and US President Joe Biden, also gives tips on ballot harvesting and shows that up to 81 million votes are possible at the next election, if people follow some easy steps.
Labor say they’ll support boat turn backs until the day after the federal election
Shadow Home Affairs Minister Kristina Keneally said she’ll support turning back the boats publicly, but will likely recant if the ALP win office in a few weeks time.
Grace Tame, Aussie Cossack to headline Griftcon 2022
The line-up will also feature regulars Friendlyjordies and Avi Yemini among a slew of the finest grifters EZFKA has to offer.
Albo confirms McGowan appointing WA Police Commissioner as Governor will be ‘outside the scope of any Federal ICAC investigation’
Dawson, who will take up the appointment this month, was appointed by McGowan at the height of the COVID pandemic in a move dubbed ‘one of the most corrupt in WA history.’