A swathe of left-wing Aussie ‘satirists’ have announced their immediate retirement, just days after Anthony Albanese was elected Prime Minister.
Friendlyjordies, The Betoota Advocate, The Chaser and The Juice Media have all announced they’re calling it quits just days after their beloved team red was elected.
“We got great mileage out of using the same ‘ScottyFromMarketing” joke for the last 3 years but now that party is over. Our target audience of inner city, progressive midwit dickheads aren’t interested anymore,” Betoota’s Errol Parker said.
The Chaser echoed their sentiments and cited some de ja vu.
‘It’s been a long nine years of ALP cheerleading, but we haven’t been funny since 2007 when essentially the same thing happened. The ALP got into office and we became irrelevant fast, you’d think we would have learned. We only hope people have forgotten about the mid-2010’s reboot because women aren’t funny,” Charles Firth said.
Melbourne’s the Juice Medi disputed claims of partisan bias but would be hanging it up anyway.
‘Using the exact same formula of progressive snark and sarcasm that goes for far too long with some censored swearing added in because we’re such edgy cunts, has gotten us this far. People are sick of that Honest Government Ad shit which I admit has never actually been funny outside of Collingwood and Northcote or if your IQ is north of 100,” founder Giordani Nanni said.
“I’ve asked the girls if they wanted to continue and actually get their tits out in each video because it’s the only way we would retain viewership, but they’ve said they’d make more money doing Only Fans.”
Friendlyjordies has yet to make a full announcement, but later said he may consider increasing his filler content of inane, 45-minute takedowns of Vice journalists and low-hanging cultural fruit of MAFS mockery to keep his lifestyle funded by the Youtube algorithm after realising ‘I have no actual skills.’