WA Premier Mark McGowan was rushed to St John of God Hospital with severe rectal bleeding last night, after massive blood loss from a series of papercuts from using the Australian Constitution as toilet paper. The Premier is believed to be in a serious but stable condition, but was rushed to hospital soon after the … Read more
The study, conducted by the Institute for Global Gaslighting, also found that Police, public servants and the entire Australian Capital Territory mysteriously remained completely unaffected by COVID despite being the deadliest pandemic of all-time.
The world’s largest investment fund, which has already been active buying up US residential real estate, is looking to pounce on distressed Australian assets and that the only way to do that was with further lockdowns.
NSW Police Commissioner Mick Fuller has defended claims that he’s destroying the middle class by enforcing CHO directions, after record numbers of small businesses were forced to close last week, sending thousands to the unemployment line.
Un ended the unofficial war with South Korea and implemented a US-style bill of rights immediately, after determining that citizens had complied with all of his demands for long enough.
After an ongoing public stoush with NSW Police and John Barilaro, the self-described “political gatekeeper for disaffected millennials” quietly purchased the three investment properties, including a multimillion-dollar property in exclusive Wentworth.
“It’s also part of our long-term strategy to get people used to a UBI and staying at home doing nothing, while we steal what’s left of your freedoms and wealth.”
Chris Davidson from Northcote, stated he was proud to receive his 14th booster shot and that Antibody Dependent Enhancement destroying his natural immune system was a “small price to pay for the greater good.”
The ruling came after the coroner’s report, infamously cancelled shortly after his initial trial began, found that the victims all died from COVID19 and that the gunshot wounds were not the cause of death.
The Morrison government has been caught in another scandal overnight, after millions of pro-vaccine social media bots suddenly went on strike after revelations they were underpaid. Mike4564 first broke the revelations on Twitter. “Pfizer paid the Australian government $1 billion for a social media bot campaign to promote mandatory vaccines. So far, not one bot … Read more
A new study has proven Australians have overtaken Canadians to become the world’s biggest pussies, as the country continues it’s descent into what some experts are describing as “China 2.0.” The study, conducted by the Institute for Boot Licking, ranked Australia #1 in 2021 for submissiveness, cowardice and compliance in relation to the ongoing COVID … Read more
A new poll has found that Australians have overwhelmingly support deporting Fairfax columnist Peter Fitzsimons to North Korea on a permanent basis. The Institute for Based Australians’ poll found that an overwhelming number of Australians wanted the self-described ‘fuckwit with a platform’ kicked out to Pyongyang forever, after a piece calling for medical segregation in … Read more