Melbourne man says he’d much prefer to wait for Pfizer’s Myocarditis rather than have Astra Zeneca’s blood clots

A man in the EZFKA city of Melbourne has stated that he’d much prefer to wait for Pfizer’s vaccine and Myocarditis, rather than risk it with blood clots from the Astra Zeneca. Drawing inspiration from Newscorp journalist Georgie Parker earlier in the week, David O’Reilly, 56, from Malvern said that he was not going to … Read more

“These are shitty choices” says Melbourne man looking at current Victorian government

A Melbourne man who voted for Dan Andrews has expressed his regret while watching the latest press conference on TV, where Andrews labelled behaviour of people in Richmond and Caufield as “shitty choices.” Robbo, 27, expressed his remorse from his couch, at electing a career bureaucrat drunk on power who is essentially ushering in “Weimar … Read more

“Get vaccine advice from your doctor” says man that ordered AHPRA to silence all of Australia’s doctors on vaccines

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told the Australian public that they should seek health advice on vaccines from their doctor, despite growing rates of vaccine resistance. However, a document made public this week showed that the Australian Health Practitioners Regulatory Authority has silenced all doctors in Australia from dissenting views and threatened to deregister anyone … Read more

Daniel Andrews says freedoms will be given back once Victorians sacrifice all of them

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has said that Victorians will get their freedoms bac,k as soon as they give up the few remaining ones they have. The Premier gave a terse press conference where he said that he may have to implement measures such as total bans on bodily movement, drinking water and ‘inhalation of any … Read more

Victorians start installing stairs out front of houses after Daniel Andrews threatens to go ‘door to door’

Carpenters in the EZFKA region of Victoria are reporting overwhelming business inquiries for front door stair installation, after Premier Daniel Andrews threatened to ‘not hesitate’ about going ‘door to door’ to enforce vaccinations. The Premier made several passive aggressive threats in a press conference on Friday, saying he would not hesitate going door to door … Read more

Sydney residents launch Operation “Go Fuck Yourself” in response to NSW Government’s Operation “Stay At Home”

Residents in the EZFKA city of Sydney have launched Operation Go Fuck Yourself, in response to NSW Government’s Operation Stay at Home and threats of fines and arrests. The operation has been launched in response to the NSW Government’s mask off declaration that none of what was happening was in response to public health, and … Read more

McGowan in ICU with severe rectal papercuts after wiping his arse on the Australian Constitution

WA Premier Mark McGowan was rushed to St John of God Hospital with severe rectal bleeding last night, after massive blood loss from a series of papercuts from using the Australian Constitution as toilet paper. The Premier is believed to be in a serious but stable condition, but was rushed to hospital soon after the … Read more