Men of Faith: Morrison, Perrottet helping Australia realise Revelation 13:17
“We’re proud to announce that no man may buy or sell, save he who have the mark of the vaccine passport,” Morrison said.
Satire
“Australian vaccine statistics are completely legitimate” says country running million-dollar lottery begging people to get vaccinated
EZFKA Health Minister Greg Hunt has announced a million-dollar lottery with a “no jab, no ticket” entry, begging Australians to get vaccinated. Hunt has denied accusations that the vaccination statistics are massively inflated and that a million-dollar lottery to get vaccinated was not proof the the whole thing was a sham. “We’ve been very successful … Read more
Tim Pallas announces Black Rock and Vanguard as sponsors of Victorian Home Equity Sharing program
“We’ve just spent the last 18 months bankrupting everyone with complete bullshit to the point of being unable to pay your mortgage. So, here we come with the prepared solution and this is how we’ll get your house, I mean, help realise the Aussie dream.”
Victorian Liberal Party nominated for “Controlled Opposition of the Year” Award
“It’s a huge honour for us but honestly it hasn’t been hard. We’re the most useless fucking party in all of Australia at the state level,” Guy said.
Qantas announces passengers must have COVID anal swabs every 15 minutes on international flights
Qantas CEO Alan Joyce has announced that any passengers on it’s international services will have to submit to COVID anal swabs performed by flight attendants, every 15 minutes while onboard the flight. The move, instantly approved by Joyce, comes as the airline looks to commit economic suicide and become the next best shorting opportunity for … Read more
Sally Capp plans to revitalise Melbourne CBD’s economy by preventing the unvaccinated from spending any money in it
Melbourne Mayor Sally Capp has announced that unvaccinated individuals will be banned from entering any City of Melbourne facility and from participating in the Melbourne CBD’s economy. After footage of empty shopfronts in the Melbourne CBD circulated online, Capp defended criticism that this was retarded and essentially akin to racial segregation. “I may have spent … Read more
Fiona Patten enters Witness Protection Program after signing Victorian SOE extension
Reason Party MLC Fiona Patten has entered Victoria Police protection this evening, after deleting all of her social media accounts and disappearing from the internet, claiming ‘trolls.’ However, Patten is believed to have already signed the extension to the state of emergency powers, and has sought Police protection from the impending wave of pitchforks and … Read more
China names new coal-fired power station after Kevin Rudd
“He’s been the best advertisement for economic suicide of a first world nation in a generation,” President Xi Jinping said.
“We need to reach net-zero to avoid climate disaster” says man from Queensland beach front mansion
“Rising sea levels are the challenge of our time, just not anywhere around where I live obviously.”
Dominion voting software named official sponsor of 2022 Australian Federal Election
The move will see Dominion voting software be used across the nation, opening the door for ‘transparency and consolidation of the uniparty vote’ in the face of growing discontent among the electorate.
Australian men line-up to cut their balls off after government mandates castration
“Given the actions of most Australian men the last 18 months and their tolerance of tyranny, they really have no use for them anyway,” EZFKA Prime Minister Scott Morrison said.
Morrison calls for end to COVID lockdowns and for commencement of climate lockdowns
The Prime Minister made the announcement after National Cabinet, citing the need for further economic suicide.