Timbo
Un ended the unofficial war with South Korea and implemented a US-style bill of rights immediately, after determining that citizens had complied with all of his demands for long enough.
After an ongoing public stoush with NSW Police and John Barilaro, the self-described “political gatekeeper for disaffected millennials” quietly purchased the three investment properties, including a multimillion-dollar property in exclusive Wentworth.
“It’s also part of our long-term strategy to get people used to a UBI and staying at home doing nothing, while we steal what’s left of your freedoms and wealth.”
Chris Davidson from Northcote, stated he was proud to receive his 14th booster shot and that Antibody Dependent Enhancement destroying his natural immune system was a “small price to pay for the greater good.”
The ruling came after the coroner’s report, infamously cancelled shortly after his initial trial began, found that the victims all died from COVID19 and that the gunshot wounds were not the cause of death.
The Morrison government has been caught in another scandal overnight, after millions of pro-vaccine social media bots suddenly went on strike after revelations they were underpaid. Mike4564 first broke the revelations on Twitter. “Pfizer paid the Australian government $1 billion for a social media bot campaign to promote mandatory vaccines. So far, not one bot … Read more
A new study has proven Australians have overtaken Canadians to become the world’s biggest pussies, as the country continues it’s descent into what some experts are describing as “China 2.0.” The study, conducted by the Institute for Boot Licking, ranked Australia #1 in 2021 for submissiveness, cowardice and compliance in relation to the ongoing COVID … Read more
A new poll has found that Australians have overwhelmingly support deporting Fairfax columnist Peter Fitzsimons to North Korea on a permanent basis. The Institute for Based Australians’ poll found that an overwhelming number of Australians wanted the self-described ‘fuckwit with a platform’ kicked out to Pyongyang forever, after a piece calling for medical segregation in … Read more
A Melbourne man outraged about Melbourne’s 6th lockdown, has vowed to fight it by continuing to comply with all restrictions imposed. Small business owner John Harris, 34, said he was over the lockdowns and Dictator Dan, but he’d continue to comply in the hope that one day he’d get his freedoms back and the goalposts … Read more
I wanted to take a little break from the usual piss-taking and cynicism for a bit of a happier/more serious observation. The usual caveats apply, these are just the musings of an average bloke with a family who is concerned for the future of the country and am happy to be proven wrong on anything. … Read more
A Freedom of Information request has revealed that 95% of the calls to the COVID dob in line in NSW were to report Chief Health Officer Dr Kerry Chant, on the basis of being full of shit. The FOI data, revealed by Smith and Jones Lawyers, showed that the NSW Police hotline was flooded with … Read more
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has vowed not to bow to China, after several cyber attacks on Australian institutions last week are believed to have originated from China. However, in the wake of a Chinese surveillance ship spying on Aussie troops, Morrison defended criticisms that he was turning Australia into China and stated that it was … Read more