Prime Minister Scott Morrison has launched a new initiative in the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia, designed to encourage people to take the experimental jabs.
Entitled “Guinea Pig Keeper” the plan will see any Australian given $301 dollars, $1 more than Labor’s proposal, to take any of the experimental vaccines and combat ‘vaccine hesitancy.’
“In the true tradition of EZFKA, the entire transfer of risk onto the consumer is now complete. Myocarditis, blood clots, prion disease, etc you name it – for $301 it’s all yours,” Morrison said.
“It’s also part of our long-term strategy to get people used to a UBI and staying at home doing nothing, while we steal what’s left of your freedoms and wealth.”
Opposition leader Anthony Albanese stated that he was outraged at the theft of his plan, and promised to double the amount if he wins the next federal election.