A new study has proven Australians have overtaken Canadians to become the world’s biggest pussies, as the country continues it’s descent into what some experts are describing as “China 2.0.”
The study, conducted by the Institute for Boot Licking, ranked Australia #1 in 2021 for submissiveness, cowardice and compliance in relation to the ongoing COVID lockdowns after regularly finishing #2 to Canada in the last ten years.
Commonwealth countries topped the list with New Zealand finishing third and the UK 4th. Cowardice levels in Victoria and Western Australia pushed Australia over the line to defeat the North American country for the first time since 2011.
“Australians have shown that there’s no freedom or civil liberty won by previous generations that they won’t sell out for a small bread crumb of comfort. I mean if we’re talking pathetic, they truly are the global leaders,” Dr Yuri A. Phugwitt, head of the institute said.
“Lining up for hours to take an insanely risky experimental jab for a disease with a 99.9% survival rate, wearing a useless cloth mask, closing your small business down but then shopping at Woolies and Bunnings, etc – Aussies really have proven that they will take any sized government or corporate penis in the arse if you scare or threaten them just a tiny bit.”
“In the spirit of the current zeitgeist, if there was a ‘Do what you’re fuckin’ told’ Olympics, Australia would top the medal count every time.”
Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews applauded the study, and has immediately announced a snap 7-day, 4 month lockdown.