Immigration Minister Andrew Giles has confirmed that Australia’s immigration intake would raise to 1 million next year, to fill ‘critical skills shortages’ and stave off recession.
The move comes after Australia’s housing market continues to go south and saving landlords becomes ‘priority one’ yet again.
‘This will ensure that we avoid recession by obfuscating our GDP in a mess of useless third world eaters from the subcontinent,” Giles said.
“We’re back to old faithful as we haven’t got any other fuckin ideas except bailout landlords and flood the country with consumers.”
Giles confirmed that Australia would be pivoting from being overrun with Chinese to being overrun with Indians, after President Xi cutoff Australia’s secondary lifeblood last year.
‘I’ve met President Modhi and he’s confident he can supply the most undesirable, uncouth Uber drivers by the plane load under the new Free Trade Agreement.”