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Satire

Virginia Trioli suffers nervous breakdown after largest protests ever weren’t for one of her bullshit progressive ABC causes

December 2, 2021 by Timbo

Trioli will remain off-air for the week after several patronising outbursts on Twitter in relation to the protests drove her over the edge.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 55 Comments

‘Political violence is unacceptable’ says government shooting protestors over political beliefs

November 30, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Andrews called protestors extremists, despite months of Victoria Police-led bashings, shootings and general violence and arrests of political dissent.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 13 Comments

Australian media disappointed they can’t blame Waukesha attack on guns

November 30, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Stenographers from across the media have lashed out on Twitter, saying they’re disappointed that they weren’t able to go on yet another insufferable, bullshit tirade about ‘Americans and Guns’ and that they’ll be praying for another mass casualty event to stand on the graves of the Port Arthur victims again.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 1 Comment

International students looking forward to making Australian students do their group assignments for them again

November 30, 2021 by Minister Sinister

As the flights to EZFKA return, foreign students say they are already looking to do fuck all and get their degrees off the backs of locals, while checking out the property market for their parents.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 7 Comments

Sally Capp approves daily protests so someone will actually come back to the Melbourne CBD

November 30, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Capp says the move will hopefully drive property prices back up to sustainable levels while international students remain outside EZFKA.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Australian scientists uncover new ‘No-one gives a fuck’ variant

November 29, 2021 by Minister Sinister

The strain was uncovered right after the new Omicron variant was released last week, sending thousands of EZFKA residents back under their bed and reaching for the Depends.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 41 Comments

New Australian study shows new COVID variants arise whenever it’s politically convenient

November 28, 2021 by Minister Sinister

The study, conducted by the Cash For Comment institute, has found that the latest Omnicron variant has appeared just as protest numbers nationwide reach record numbers and Victoria is set to vote on the permanent pandemic legislation.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 63 Comments

New A-League rule states team that has least amount of heart attacks during a game to be awarded the win

November 28, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Under the new rule, teams would be allowed to forfeit if too many players collapse from heart attacks during the game, however the opposing side would be awarded the win and the three points. Forfeit would also mean automatic elimination from the FFA Cup.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 10 Comments

Morrison vows to stand up to China by importing as many Chinese students as he can

November 25, 2021 by Timbo

The move, which has horrified everyone at ASIO, will be ‘a boon for Australia’s strategic defence and real estate sector’ according to Morrison.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

Dom Perrottet says restrictions on unvaccinated residents will remain until the control group is eliminated

November 25, 2021 by Timbo

The Premier has made it clear that another move of goalposts is scheduled for December 15th, much to the dismay of copium addicts still believing anything the LNP says.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 13 Comments

Jacqui Lambie to quit politics at next election for board position at Pfizer

November 25, 2021 by Timbo

Lambie was reportedly offered 7 figures in exchange for her soul, with Satan and Pfizer CEO Albert Boula agreeing to terms with the independent earlier this year.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 3 Comments

NSW resident unsure of which property developer to vote for in upcoming council elections

November 24, 2021November 24, 2021 by Timbo

David Erikson from the North Shore, said it was a hard decision voting for which proxy of billionaire property moguls will destroy his suburb with high rise apartments and mass immigration.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 2 Comments
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