Middle-class crushing lockdowns will continue until Victorians submit to vaccine, says Merlino

Acting Victorian Premier James Merlino has stated that arbitrary lockdowns targeting the middle class will continue, until enough Victorians submit to experimental COVID vaccines. In the face of Victoria’s imploding economy, Merlino has stated that Victoria’s small businesses will be wearing the brunt of the losses if there is no uptake in vaccines. “As the … Read more

Morrison says Australians will need a vaccine jab for all 204 countries and their respective variants

EZFKA Prime Minister Scott Morrison has stated that Australians will require regular vaccine updates for all 204 countries and variants of COVID, as they arise. With new COVID threats emerging every week, the Prime Minister has found innovative new ways to get on top of it in spite of hotel quarantine and get Aussies lining … Read more

Study finds wearing high visibility clothing on Melbourne construction sites provides complete immunity from COVID

A new study has found that construction workers in the EZFKA city of Melbourne are completely immune to COVID during lockdowns. The study, conducted by the Lowy Institute and Property Council of Australia, found that tradies working on construction sites wearing high visibility clothing were 100% immune to all strains of COVID. Acting Premier James … Read more

Victorian government employee wins “Snitch of the Year” award after shutting down 100 businesses for QR code violations

A Victorian government employee has won the coveted Victorian “Snitch of the Year” award for 2020, for his outstanding work shutting down businesses failing to comply with QR code check-ins. David Goldberg, an employee with the Victorian DHHS, was celebrated for shutting down over 105 businesses during 2020 lockdowns that failed to enforce the controversial … Read more

Michael Slater blasts Scomo’s India flight ban from five-star resort in the Maldives

Former Australian cricketer Michael Slater has blasted Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s flight ban from India, while on a conference call from a five-star resort in the Maldives. Slater, who had been in India for the now cancelled IPL along with other Australian cricketers, was unable to get a flight home to Australia and was forced … Read more

McGowan says best way to prevent future lockdowns is using more Indian security guards working multiple jobs

WA Premier Mark McGowan says best way to prevent future lockdowns is to use more private security, with a continued preference for Indian international students. After a near-miss from a returning traveller from an Indian wedding, the second lockdown in WA was caused by an international student working a second job as an Uber driver … Read more

Macrobusiness comments section shut down after pro-Scott Morrison comment gets past censor and causes turmoil

The comments section of Macrobusiness was temporarily shutdown tonight, after a comment supporting Scott Morrison’s temporary travel ban from India managed to get past the censors. The comment from irregular user ‘Johnno1223’ stated that ‘the ban was only temporary and should be used to protect the citizens of EZFKA. Plus it has the added benefit … Read more

Dual-citizen Indian that hasn’t been to Australia in ten years says he’s been abandoned by the Morrison government travel ban

A dual-citizen Indian that has not been to the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia since 2013 has lashed out at the Morrison Government for abandoning him. Despite overwhelming public support for the ban and even more supporting a permanent ban on flights from India, dual citizens says they have been left in the dark. … Read more

“Keep the borders open with India” says party still unsure why they lost 2019 federal election

The ALP has criticised the Morrison government for it’s temporary COVID travel ban with India, saying “it’s a racist, gross violation of human rights.” Anthony Albanese and Bill Shorten have both made statements in the last week opposing the bans originating from India to the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia, despite mass public support … Read more

Jacinda Ardern says at least 4 more lockdowns necessary for middle class submission to the Great Reset

The Economic Zone Formerly Known as New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has stated that she believes at least 4 more lockdowns are necessary to break the middle class into submission, in order to accept the globalist Great Reset. Ardern, who has threatened “no jab no job” policies at the weekend, has stated that she … Read more

Uber Eats rider who caused multiple fatality accident in Melbourne says more needs to be done to protect riders

The EZFKA city of Melbourne is reeling tonight, after a multiple fatality accident in the CBD killed three citizens. An Uber Eats rider has been taken into custody and charged with three counts of negligent driving causing death, after three pedestrians were killed after they were struck by a scooter on the footpath. Speaking through … Read more

EZFKA to lockdown for a month after Hubble space telescope detects coronavirus near Alpha Centauri

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has ordered EZFKA into lockdown for a month, after NASA stated the Hubble space telescope had detected what appeared to be coronavirus on Proxima Centauri. The planet, located within the Alpha Centauri star system, displayed what appeared to be COVID fragments, sparking serious concerns among National Cabinet. Morrison said that Australians … Read more