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Satire

Christine Nixon congratulates Karen Webb on being Australia’s latest diversity hire

December 20, 2021 by Timbo

The former Vic Pol top cop congratulated Webb on winning the job on a chromosome basis and to enjoy the ensuing media circlejerk about vaginas in leadership positions.

Categories Satire 23 Comments

WA hard border collapses as thousands of travellers gain exemptions by entering their names as ‘Kerry Stokes’ on G2G pass

December 20, 2021 by Timbo

Thousands of other travellers also used the name ‘Andrew Forrest’ producing the exact same result, with Perth Airport overwhelmed with arrivals and WA Police unable to do anything.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 23 Comments

Albanese says LNP’s 160,000 annual migration target unacceptably high, commits to 159,999 instead

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Albanese said the only commitment he was prepared to follow through on was unlimited Indian grandmothers via the parental visa scheme, to be announced at a later date.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 28 Comments

Australian man convinced third straight year of complying his way out of COVID authoritarianism will work

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Michael Johnson from Sydney, stated that the only way to ‘end this draconian nightmare’ was to continue to do what he was told by public health bureaucrats and that a third year of unquestioning compliance will definitely change things for the better.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 85 Comments

Mark McGowan announces next goalpost shift set for February 5th

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

McGowan says he ‘remains committed’ to gaslighting the population, and that three months was ample time for a slew of new variants and excuses to extend the border closure beyond February.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 5 Comments

Alex Hawke to add ‘Indian Scam Call Centre Operator’ to Australian Skilled Occupation List

December 13, 2021 by Timbo

Hawke will also be providing access to QR code check-in data to Indian students as part of the agreement, for data mining purposes.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 14 Comments

New Zealand’s organised crime groups pledge support for Jacinda Ardern’s ban on tobacco

December 13, 2021 by Timbo

OMCG groups have reportedly already begun investing in shipping containers despite a global shortage.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 27 Comments

Anthony Albanese in isolation after testing negative for testosterone

December 13, 2021 by Timbo

Suspicions were raised when Albanese and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews were photographed having a barbeque with steaks that appeared completely uncooked.

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The Age journalist fired for failing to link rising property prices with neo-nazis

December 10, 2021 by Timbo

Chris Webb, a 14-year veteran of Fairfax, was terminated after being unable to write an article blaming ‘neo-nazi white supremacists’ for rising property prices during the COVID pandemic.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 5 Comments

Morrison says best way to fight foreign interference is to let foreign tech companies censor Australians online

December 10, 2021 by Timbo

Morrison said the new legislation will go that one step further and that ‘private companies can do anything we want them to for our mutual benefit.’

Categories Satire Tags Satire 8 Comments

“Only our fake money is legitimate” Reserve Bank of Australia slams crypto

December 9, 2021 by Timbo

Following nearly 20% drops across the board for Bitcoin, Ethereum and other coins Lowe said crypto was nothing more than a scam. The comments also come as a Melbourne-based crypto exchange was forced into liquidation.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 3 Comments

Sky News Australia to rebrand as ‘ABC Lite’ after firing last remaining conservative

December 7, 2021 by Timbo

The move comes as Sky cements it’s status as moving further and further left, only now being three months behind the ABC. With Jones out of the way, the stage is set for a rebrand and an easy path to government subsidies to prop up the network.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 34 Comments
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