EZFKA Opposition leader Anthony Albanese is isolating at home tonight after a test for testosterone came back negative.
Suspicions were raised when Albanese and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews were photographed having a barbeque with steaks that appeared completely uncooked.
“I can confirm that Albo is in isolation after testing negative for testosterone and is currently undergoing testing to confirm where he left his balls, or if he indeed even had them in the first place,” a spokesman for the ALP said.
“It’s a testament to the ALP’s gender quotas and that testosterone has no place in modern politics.”
It is understood that Penny Wong will be considering a leadership challenge prior to the election, due to ‘wearing pants more often than Albo.’