Timbo

The radio journalist and Andrews’ sycophant was allegedly seen leaving the daily press conference in an ambulance, with a visibly distraught Andrews seeing the ambulance off.

After the announcement that EZFKA Prime Minister Scott Morrison had imported enough jabs to vaccinate the entire population multiple times over, some Australians expressed outrage over being forced to line up yet again.

RSL President Greg Melick said that it was disgusting that people were appealing to the people who sacrificed their lives for their freedoms.

Doherty held off strong challenges from think tanks Grattan Institute and Burnet Institute, to be named the nation’s greatest private collection of intellectual prostitutes.

After signing up to the Institute’s Resilient City Program in 2015, Melbourne beat out many other contenders with a huge display of police brutality and crushing of dissent in the past month.

Senior Constable Benedict Arnold, was all fired up when he heard he was being dispatched to another protest, but was disappointed in the lack of opportunity for violence when the protestors disbanded peacefully.

“This is not only the largest clinical trial ever but also the largest Stanford Prison Experiment ever conducted. So, this will just silence them again until we inflate the cases and lock them down again.”

An EZFKA poll has found that Australian mainstream media journalists should be hung first, at the upcoming Nuremburg 2.0 trials. The poll, from the Presstitutes Get The Rope Institute, showed 110% of Australians think mainstream journalists from across the spectrum should face capitalist punishment for their conduct since March 2020. “Their data shows their conduct … Read more

Former opposition leader Bill Shorten has placed his entire life savings on the ALP losing the federal election next year, moments after calling all union members Nazis on the Today Show. The former opposition leader was seen at the local TAB in Moonee Ponds, putting a large multi on the Australian Federal Election, six months … Read more

Victoria Police have requested a No-Fly Zone so they can deploy newly acquired Predator drones from the CCP, over the Melbourne CBD. CASA have since denied the application, but have opened the door to potentially more opportunities for drone strikes later. “We will be working with Victoria Police to find an opportune time to deploy … Read more

Victoria Police Commissioner Shane Patton has stated he will order his police to shoot and injure more unemployed tradies, in order to keep Victoria’s hospital system from being overwhelmed. The order comes as heroic Victoria Police officers shot more unarmed protestors at the ANZAC Shrine of Remembrance today, as a testament to those who died … Read more

“These stupid bogans who have lost their income and unable to feed their families are just acting like spoiled brats over their tearooms,” Moorcroft said.