Sydney Morning Herald rage-porn columnist Peter Fitzsimons has been reported missing, after an AFLW controversy involving a muslim player.
Fitzsimons’ normally odious Twitter account fell unusually silent, after the revelation that GWS player Haneen Zreika would not wear a pride jersey in this weekend’s AFLW match due to her religious beliefs.
‘We can confirm that Peter Fitzsimons has been reported missing to NSW Police and that an extensive search and rescue effort is underway,” Superintendent Jack Higgins said.
‘We’ve started with a comprehensive search of the interior of his arsehole but so far we are unable to locate him. We suspect he may surface in the SMH in the next few days with some groveling, duplicitous, 90 IQ shit that completely avoids the question.’
Israel Folau is also believed to have sent a signed copy of Lisa Wilkinson’s book to Fitzsimons’ residence which he ‘found in a dumpster out the back of Dymocks.’