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Satire

Victoria to become world leader in black outs with approval of largest ever wind farm project

December 31, 2021 by Minister Sinister

The project, designed to placate the inner-city wanker voter base, will begin construction next year with an estimated over run and blowout cost of at least $30 billion after union fees and payments to Chicoms.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 4 Comments

New Victorian law requires people to do Rapid Antigen Test before doing Rapid Antigen Test

December 31, 2021 by Minister Sinister

The law, being introduced by the Andrews government, will see it mandatory to under go at least two RAT’s before being considered Covid negative.

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WA tourism operator thanks Mark McGowan for keeping WA safe with border closures prior to committing suicide

December 23, 2021 by Timbo

Mark Peterson left a touching suicide note for the state premier before hanging himself in his garage, citing the need to keep people safe from death from a disease they have a 99.9% chance of surviving, no matter what the cost.

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Australian man spending Christmas in quarantine glad he got vaccinated so he could travel

December 22, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Brian Normieson, of Newcastle, says taking two doses of a trial vaccine was totally worth it to not spend scheduled time with his family for the first time in two years, and be herded straight off the plane into a quarantine facility.

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National Cabinet meeting to decide if ten boosters enough to be considered fully vaccinated

December 22, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has stated he believes ten boosters would be the minimum requirement for Australians to be considered fully vaccinated.

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New Doherty Institute modelling shows 1 trillion Australians will die of Omicron if boosters not mandated immediately

December 22, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Experts say the modelling, which won’t be made public, show that deaths will occur in the thousands per minute if more jabs in arms aren’t administered immediately and fear porn isn’t ratcheted right back up.

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WA hard border collapses as thousands of travellers gain exemptions by entering their names as ‘Kerry Stokes’ on G2G pass

December 20, 2021 by Timbo

Thousands of other travellers also used the name ‘Andrew Forrest’ producing the exact same result, with Perth Airport overwhelmed with arrivals and WA Police unable to do anything.

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Albanese says LNP’s 160,000 annual migration target unacceptably high, commits to 159,999 instead

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Albanese said the only commitment he was prepared to follow through on was unlimited Indian grandmothers via the parental visa scheme, to be announced at a later date.

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Australian man convinced third straight year of complying his way out of COVID authoritarianism will work

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

Michael Johnson from Sydney, stated that the only way to ‘end this draconian nightmare’ was to continue to do what he was told by public health bureaucrats and that a third year of unquestioning compliance will definitely change things for the better.

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Mark McGowan announces next goalpost shift set for February 5th

December 14, 2021 by Minister Sinister

McGowan says he ‘remains committed’ to gaslighting the population, and that three months was ample time for a slew of new variants and excuses to extend the border closure beyond February.

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Alex Hawke to add ‘Indian Scam Call Centre Operator’ to Australian Skilled Occupation List

December 13, 2021 by Timbo

Hawke will also be providing access to QR code check-in data to Indian students as part of the agreement, for data mining purposes.

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New Zealand’s organised crime groups pledge support for Jacinda Ardern’s ban on tobacco

December 13, 2021 by Timbo

OMCG groups have reportedly already begun investing in shipping containers despite a global shortage.

Categories Satire Tags Satire 27 Comments
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