Satire

The PM was scathing about Andrews’ power grab, but vowed to keep turning a blind eye and pretending there was a difference in the uniparty.

“This is to ensure the integrity of the process. I still haven’t mandated vaccines and they are not compulsory so there is nothing to really worry about.”

The study, conducted by the Who the Fuck Still Believes This Shit Institute, found that no Police, Ambos, Doctors, Nurses or Firies have succumbed to the virus despite being at the forefront of it for the last 18 months.

Morrison has stated Cabinet had agreed to copy and paste both the ALP and Greens policies from the 2016 election and pass them off as their own.

The protestors, trying to manufacture consent for the destruction of the Australian economy, blocked off parts of the Melbourne CBD and were rapidly attended to by officers bearing refreshments.

The Premier’s announcement means unvaccinated can enter retail shops until mid-November, giving contact tracers enough time to make up some cases and manufacture consent for another lockdown.

“It’s been great and a nice little cash cow for constant lobbying for anyone who is left wing, but when it comes to the Nuremburg Code and the right to bodily autonomy, that’s something we don’t want to deal with unless you’re a refugee.

The legislation, which allows for discrimination of classes of individuals, will force unvaccinated individuals to wear yellow stars and bar them from public life.

Andrews said the suspension may be extended and an amendment for 5-year extensions of pandemic legislation will be introduced.

Andrews, who didn’t consult with most of the crossbenchers and many in his own party before introducing the legislation, denied he was being a treasonous hypocrite.

The video, which features Patten, some tinkly pianos and members of Eunuchs Lives Matter reading out alleged things said to her online, was published yesterday in response to the growing backlash against crossbenchers siding with the government.

The legislation, named the ‘I can’t believe it’s not a coup’ Act will give the ALP permanent emergency powers up to the lead up of the 2022 election. The LNP say they stand ready to approve the legislation at a moment’s notice.