Timbo

“This is particularly crucial as the iron ore price continues to sink and perhaps the only way that I can keep the border closed domestically.”

“I’d like to thank the bots for their outstanding work in boosting my profile, particular the other day when I was waving my two-tier society father’s day celebrations in their face. The professional photographer really enjoyed all the excess likes.”

“I applaud a man that’s never run a business and worked exclusively in government his entire career to make a tough call like this,” John Stapleton of Small Business Victoria said.

“We promote an inclusive and safe environment here at Dan Dan’s, but if you haven’t had both jabs then you aren’t welcome,” Morrison said.

“Lockdown has provided us an opportunity to renovate. It’s all about public health, that’s why we’re also installing a special drunken violence space up the back and easy access ramp for drink drivers in our car park.”

A spokesman for the ATO says they were currently working on ways to punish the unvaccinated and have proposed an unvaccinated tax. It is understood that several ASX200 companies have also applied for unvaccinated status.

Premier Mark McGowan was quick to dismiss criticism that was just purely bullshit theatre and said he was committed to ‘keeping WA safe.”

“I’d like to make the point again that we’re all in this together and we recognise that this is First Nations land. Except if you’re an unvaccinated Wurundjeri or Yorta Yorta, at which point you aren’t welcome.”

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“Whether it’s Jerome Weimar making claims about COVID going through windows or some crusty old, overweight Police Commissioner giving threats, your IQ will lower significantly listening to that vacuous bullshit,” Dr Greg Greggson said.

Research conducted by the Institute for No-one Intelligent Actually Believes This Shit, has shown overwhelmingly that journalists for mainstream networks have become nothing more than corporate stenographers and need a good beating.

However, critics have said that the claim is ‘the usual unscientific bullshit’ and just being used to stimulate economic activity to inflate Victoria’s GDP.