EZFKA

The Morrison government is understood to be in talks to introduce a new type of visa to EZFKA, that would allow migrants with no legal case but can run a convincing sob story, to stay in the country. The idea has been floated in the wake of the Tamil family saga, currently being saturated across … Read more

Exclusive: Victorian CMO Brett Sutton has given reporters an exclusive look at the supercomputer responsible for generating superfluous reasoning for ongoing lockdowns in Victoria. The supercomputer, alluded to by Premier Daniel Andrews last year and developed in conjunction with the CCP, generates random names for COVID strains and calculates just how many cases are needed … Read more

“We take a look into the future of what EZFKA will potentially look like at the end of the decade” A man in the EZFKA city of Sydney has been fined 100,000 social credit points, after missing his mandated monthly COVID jab. Luke Forrester, of the EZFKA subregion of Erina, realised he had not had … Read more

Property prices in Sydney have exploded to all-time highs after China launched a nuclear first strike on the east coast EZFKA city. After both countries traded firey rhetoric all week, China finally called Australia’s bluff and launched a first strike against Australia’s most populous city. Minutes after the ICBM impacted downtown Sydney, Domain recorded a … Read more

Greens Senator Mehreen Faruqi has timed the release of her new book “Too Migrant, Too Muslim, Too Loud” to perfection it seems as supermarkets across Melbourne have reported it sold out, as toilet paper shortages return to the EZFKA city. Coles and Woolworths have reported that sales of the book have been through the roof … Read more

Acting Victorian Premier James Merlino has stated that arbitrary lockdowns targeting the middle class will continue, until enough Victorians submit to experimental COVID vaccines. In the face of Victoria’s imploding economy, Merlino has stated that Victoria’s small businesses will be wearing the brunt of the losses if there is no uptake in vaccines. “As the … Read more

EZFKA Prime Minister Scott Morrison has stated that Australians will require regular vaccine updates for all 204 countries and variants of COVID, as they arise. With new COVID threats emerging every week, the Prime Minister has found innovative new ways to get on top of it in spite of hotel quarantine and get Aussies lining … Read more

A new study has found that construction workers in the EZFKA city of Melbourne are completely immune to COVID during lockdowns. The study, conducted by the Lowy Institute and Property Council of Australia, found that tradies working on construction sites wearing high visibility clothing were 100% immune to all strains of COVID. Acting Premier James … Read more

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A Perth man has bravely come out from under his bed to see if the danger from the deadly COVID virus has subsided. John Morrison, 35 from Fremantle, went outside from under his bed for the first time in months to see if the danger had subsided. “Mate, Sunrise was telling me how deadly it … Read more

WA Premier Mark McGowan says at least 400,000 one bedroom apartments are needed to reboot the EZFKA state’s economy. McGowan stated that being reliant on the iron ore price was not a sound strategy and that eventually Perth would need to get with the times and fully embrace the real estate ponzi from the East … Read more

A Victorian government employee has won the coveted Victorian “Snitch of the Year” award for 2020, for his outstanding work shutting down businesses failing to comply with QR code check-ins. David Goldberg, an employee with the Victorian DHHS, was celebrated for shutting down over 105 businesses during 2020 lockdowns that failed to enforce the controversial … Read more

Residents of the EZFKA state of Victoria have started moving en masse to North Korea in a bid to escape continual lockdowns and arbitrary restrictions from COVID regulations. Melbourne in particular has experienced a mass exodus of former residents heading for North Korea, who have stated that they are hoping to experience some freedom and … Read more