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Albanese said he will be returning to the flood affected area next week for a quick photo-op and then on his way out of the country again.

Victorian Reason Party MLC Fiona Patten sacrificed a child to Moloch on the steps of Victorian Parliament in support of the protestors, and was looking at legislation to introduce abortion up to 28 days after birth.

Maxwell, 60, is due to be sentenced this week for her part in a child sex trafficking ring led by Jeffrey Epstein and was placed on suicide watch yesterday, ahead of some scheduled camera servicing in her cell.

Dave Kennedy, from Sydney, donated large amounts of money to grifter of the year Avi Yemeni in his court battle to unmask PRguy17. Kennedy believes the mounting numbers of crises including energy, hospital, inflation and supply change need to take a back seat for a while.

The annual poll of property developers, immigration lobbyists and World Economic Forum members agreed with Andrews that the brutality, not seen since communist Russia, in the world’s most locked down city last year got it over the line.

Victorian parents will be able to access free childcare only at centres across the state that are staffed exclusively by paedophiles posing as entertainers.

From next month, shoppers will only be allowed to pay by facial recognition, with those who pay with cash instantly apprehended and sent to camps in China’s Xinjiang Province.

EZFKNZ PM Jacinda Ardern brokered the deal last week in New York, after a meeting with CEO Larry Fink to save NZ’s housing market and rescue the land-owning class. The deal also secures exclusive naming rights for BlackRock to the North Island.

Chris Carnegie, from Lismore, lost his house, small business and all of his possessions in the flooding and has been living in a tent for weeks with no assistance from government or anyone else.

The self-described ‘insufferable fuckwit’ stated that Australians needed to rethink their lifestyle and consumption habits if they can’t afford it. Cannon-Brookes used the opportunity to promote his personal investments of cricket flour while eating a gas-cooked bbq snag from his local RSL.

Jane Crenshaw, from Indooripilly, who tweeted ‘GREENSLAND’ just after the election, further tweeted that having no electricity was just the price to pay to save the planet.

They were joined in solidarity with crime sprees by Kiwis in Melbourne and South Brisbane, after Jacinda Ardern managed to secure the deal and wash her hands of her citizens’ wrongdoings as she loses control of crime in NZ.

After being told by every legal institution in the country that their claims were fabricated bullshit and costing the Australian public millions, the Nadesalingam family plan to put their feet up in the country where they claim they can never go back to.

The All Blacks will now be known as the ‘All BlackRocks’ after CEO Larry Fink was displeased with New Zealand’s ESG score and demanded the name change in line with World Economic Forum policies.

Rob Willis, from Northcote, stated that pensioners unable to pay their gas bill due to inflation and domestic gas policy was not his problem and that ‘greedy boomers brought it on themselves.’