Following the success of ChatGPT and hot on the heels of Google’s recent lacklustre launch of its BARD AI system, MB has wowed audiences with the unveiling of its own new site layout and Artificial Intelligence system – TARD AI.
The TARD AI system is a sophisticated synthetic neural network, trained to autonomously perform multiple key functions to speed delivery of core services to MB audiences. Technical details have not been revealed, but sources close to the development of the technology have reported that TARD AI capabilities include:
- “Topping and tailing”research notes and reports published by selected banks and commentators
- Scraping daily commodity price data and putting it in a table
- Taking Corelogic data and plotting it is chart (with line and column capabilities)
- Impersonating that Becker bloke
- Publishing posts at one hour and half-hour increments.
The TARD AI neural network has been extensively trained on data sets:
- historical posts; and
- historical events
Through ‘praise’ and ‘punishment’ mechanisms it has been taught to ensure that a correlation between posts and events (lagged 18 months) is maintained strictly in the range of -0.75 and -0.90. Initial values for “outrage”, “pomposity” and “contrariness” have been set in the high range, to ensure a seamless user experience.
TARD AI has been active for several weeks and regular users have embraced its launch.
Long time user Matthias was quoted as saying “It’s been good. The content has been a great mix of warnings about how dire everything is and how wrong everyone has it, how close we are to the precipice, with the tacit promise that us meek readers will finally inherit the earth if we grit our teeth and hold on about another 18 months. Because it’s automated, I can now gear my fear and fleeting hope fix more regularly.”
Long time user Reusachtige said “Yeah, nah. Mechanical devices are not usually what I go in for (although they have a use in getting the fat and ugly chicks to release their tension). But I guess the blokes had to do this, so that they can get real jobs to pay the increasing rents, and I certainly applaud that.”