Scott Morrison announces 2022 Federal Election will be conducted by mail-in ballots due to pandemic

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced that the 2022 EZFKA Federal Election will be conducted solely by mail-in ballot.

After introducing legislation last week upping the minimum requirement for minor parties to be registered with a minimum of 1500 members, Morrison said that these new measures were necessary in the face of COVID19.

“The United States has shown the way, the only way to secure free and fair elections is by mail-in ballot and combined with minor party requirements will give greater certainty of a favourable election result,” Morrison said.

Opposition leader Anthony Albanese supported the move and stated he was already in talks with US Democrat representatives on how best to proceed.

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Using the pandemic as an excuse, Morrison will cancel the election and declare himself the new God Emperor of Australia.

Agent 47

Even Trudeau has relented and called an election. He’ll win because Canada is fucked.

Agent 47

Much needed laughs during the accelerating craziness.


can’t tell if satire or real…


Mister Sinister -> Nostradammedus.

Might actually happen thats how f’d things are…


Why are we not locking down and vaccinating dogs and cats ?

yet we do it to children

imo we should cull all companion animals in Australia – it seems only fair given the humans have had to be locked down and jabbed and it isn’t feasible to have QR codes and vaccine passports for animals


In theory, the virus could evolve as it circulates among animals — possibly in ways that threaten the efficacy of vaccines 

laying the ground work … if the jabs don’t work & the virus gets worse, they’ll blame the minks or raccoons.

Reus's Large MEMBER

Well no one believes that it came from the poor pangolin now so they have to give that angle a re-try


In fairness the pangolin can’t be blamed anymore cause it got eaten the poor bastard.


website went down for a few minutes. being attacked? heh


Yeh, I’ve noticed it numerous times recently.

Might be a sign that it’s time to beef up the IT/hosting stuff to be more resilient.


You’ve attracted some attention

Agent 47

Leyonhjelm just tweeted this article and cunts on Twitter thought it was real.

EZFKA strikes again!


That’s gold. Perhaps I should pen a piece about Morrison wanting to nuke Sydney to prevent Covid spreading.


Let’s start by saying that the only truly safe sex to be having right now is solo sex.

ok, now I’ve seen everything.


How will you mutually masturbate while maintaining 1.5m distance ?

that’s impressive

the same idiots who wrote this have emergency powers over our lives


very scary. you only have a vague feeling and idea about it until you see something like this.


holy cow…..


Mail in ballots are the death of democracy.


Fuck off retard. Postal votes have been a key part of Australian democracy for fuckin ages and just cause all you dumb cunts listen more to murican news and politics all of a sudden you’re against it. Get fucked ya muppet


I think it’s spelled “merkin news”

Plug Meister

Postal votes are great for not ruining your weekend, avoiding queues, avoiding fines and most of all not having to deal with the gaggle of fuckwits trying to hand out ‘how to vote’ cards. ‘How to vote’ cards, now they are the *real* death of democracy.


It’s much more convenient to use the post, but – like with almost every convenience – you give up something.

some times that “something” doesn’t matter. At other times, it suddenly does.

as examples

  • you can’t change your mind after you post your vote. Usually doesn’t matter…. But what if labor announces mass-sick-foreign-grandma-importation on the Friday before the ‘lection…
  • there is a little bit more room for meddling (losing votes, finding votes, creating votes). Usually doesn’t matter, but what if over time you lose faith in the probity of government and the public servants they have plonked into electoral administration posts.

….so maybe doesn’t matter – until it does….


Campaigning goes right down to the last minute. Mass use of postal ballots makes at least some of the campaigning irrelevant because it isn’t clear when campaigns start and end. If most of an electorate vote postal, that electorate could be conceivably be out of the campaign from the first day if everyone posted their ballot on that day. The opposition wouldn’t even get to put their argument to those voters. I don’t know much about electoral history, but the post is not new technology. Why weren’t people voting by post in large numbers a century ago? I suspect early voting favours incumbents because incumbents have the advantage not only of knowing when the election is going to be called in advance, but also of more money due to already being in office. They can have their campaign messaging refined on day one. Everybody voting on the same day equalizes some of that advantage and gives the opposition more time to respond to the incumbent’s campaign. This is quite apart from the security and accountability issues that go along with postal voting. A few postal votes don’t matter, at >30% of the total vote it’s pretty significant. It suprises me that the ALP don’t kick up a stink about this, then again, lots of people hate voting and postal is more convenient, so maybe they’re afraid of losing votes on that basis.

Last edited 2 years ago by robert2013

you betcha

Dominic La Rosa

What a perfect way to rig a election . . but then both parties serve the same foreign intruders