WA Premier Roger Cook has withdrawn a bid to host the Commonwealth Games following Victoria’s withdrawal, after an Aboriginal Corporation demanded at least $3 trillion to host the games.
After Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews announced the state was withdrawing and could no longer afford the games, WA launched a bid for all of five minutes before the WA Premier received a call demanding at least $3 trillion in payments to the newly formed “Nyoongar Gibmeadollarkunt Aboriginal Corporation.”
“WA will no longer host the games as the fee required to pay the Aboriginals under the Heritage Act makes it no longer viable,” Cook said.
“We ran the maths further and events like the long jump and shot put were in serious doubt. Every time a hole more than 50cms would be left by the competitors, we would be charged at least $160 for some bureaucrat to come out and measure it and then charged further if it was 51cms or more.”
Cook also confirmed that Twiggy Forrest was approached for a Comm Games bailout, but stated the mining magnate couldn’t give him a cent due to being about to lose half his shit to his wife in the divorce for boning a Chinese FMG interpreter.