Australia has voted to string Lord Mayor of Melbourne Sally Capp up the Westgate Bridge flagpole, after Melbourne City Council voted to cancel Australia Day.
3-time Diversity Hire of the Year Capp will be flown from the flagpole after her and fellow communists on Melbourne City Council voted to cancel Australia Day and further erase the history of Australia.
“Capp’s always been an upper-class privileged retard that hasn’t achieved anything in life. Her role is purely performative bullshit just like her previous role at the Property Council of Australia,” a spokesman for the ‘String Up Sally’ movement that forced the historic vote said.
“No surprise that a council that represents an area that is almost exclusively international students living in dogboxes and third worlders in public housing wants to cancel Australia Day – they are the ultimate EZFKA citizens and have no ties to the nation state they consume resources in.”
Capp will be strung up with fellow councillor Nic Reece, who recently underwent transition surgery after doubts about his masculinity, in a ceremony to take place next week.