Manly Sea Eagles have decided to scrap it’s pride jersey scheduled for Thursday, after players that were stood down for refusing to wear it have converted to Islam.
Manly have confirmed that they will now suddenly respect the religious beliefs of it’s players and that pride policies would only target Christians, specifically white men. The players will be free not to wear it.
It has also been reported that Peter Fitzsimons and Ian Roberts, who have both led calls for the NRL to have a dedicated Groomer Round, have been rushed to hospital for CAT scans revealing Israel Folau living rent-free inside thier heads.
“Look, it’s clear our policies are distinctly anti-white and anti-christian, we apologise for failing to make that clear,” NRL spokesman Ari Goldberg said.
“I’m pretty intimidated by these Islander boys, but we know white Christian men are self-loathing idiots and low hanging fruit. So we’ll apply these policies only to them.”
Meanwhile, Manly players will be injected with monkeypox ahead of the game to make sure their support of the LGBTQIAA++ community is fully inclusive.