Once a darling of Australian progressives, Peter Van Onselen (PVO) has performed the greatest heel turn since Hulk Hogan after taking legal action against Professor Gemma Carey over a defamatory Twitter comment and photo.
The photo in question included a young Christian Porter, Nick Coatesworth, Ainslie van Onlsen and PVO. For legal reasons we are unable to replicate the offending comment, so have replaced it with a substitute caption.
“It was a surprise bukkake party. Everyone came and you should have seen the look on her face.”
It is understood that PVO took the legal action in conjunction with Queensland MP Andrew Laming and former attorney general Christian Porter, with letters being sent to Carey from the same legal firm. Despite Carey apologising and deleting the tweet, PVO stated he would continue legal proceedings, drawing inspiration from Federal MP Peter Dutton who sued refugee advocate Shane Bazzi for calling him a rape apologist and likening him to the lovechild of Mr Potatohead, Harry Potter villain Voldemort and a hairless Police Chief Clancy Wiggum.
Professor Carey, a victim of sexual abuse and grooming who is also disabled and pregnant, has since deactivated her Twitter account. Following an initial backlash, PVO initially tried to distance himself from the action, expressing surprise before tweeting that it was ok because it was important to target people who can’t fight back.
PVO was at pains to make it clear he was the victim and not someone craving attention or suffering from relevance deprivation syndrome.
In response a crowd sourced legal defence fund promoted by Australian of the Year Grace Tame has so far raised over $200,000. PVO tweeted that this would help pay for a new boat, and tried to justify his actions stating that Carey wasn’t really pregnant as she was having a child through a surrogate.
PVO denied there was any sinister motivations behind the legal action. “It’s about maintaining my position as the most successful Van Onselen, which is important for Christmas barbecue bragging rights.”
“To be fair, there isn’t much competition,” mused Van Onselen. “I think I have a cousin who runs some two bit economics blog, but no one ever reads it.”
So what’s the next target for PVO?
“I’m pretty confident I can go after Scott Morrison.”
“His election win in the 2019 really harmed my reputation, so we’re in the process of drafting a legal concerns notice now.”
“You don’t have any idea how many times that stupid image was shared.”