Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has announced he’s finally leaving politics following a generous board position at a Chinese state-owned property developer, after EZFKA previously reported back in May that he wouldn’t quit until the right deal was done.
Andrews is believed to have been offered $8,888,888 by Chinese developer Jade Moon Dragon 888 Golden Tiger Pty Ltd for the deal, $8 million more than Andrew Robb’s deal with Landbridge for selling the Port of Darwin a decade ago.
Spokesperson Wei Fuk Yu said he was relieved he didn’t have to release the blackmail tapes from Andrews’ last trip to China.
“We’re glad to secure the services of our greatest asset, er, assistant in the region and that the greatest property deal ever of infilling the inner suburbs with high-rise ghettobox shit aka the Suburban Rail Loop will finally get done,” Yu said.
Andrews steps away from politics with no regrets and no retribution.
“I’m devastated to walk away from politics without facing any real consequence for my actions,” Andrews said.
“Whether it’s running over a kid, locking the state down, cancelling projects, bankrupting the state, getting the cops to kick the shit out of you for not wearing a mask, letting African gangs run amok, or forcing you to take an unsafe pharmaceutical so you can service your bullshit mortgage on your shitty off the plan build out in Wollert, we really are the state of no consequences.”
“I had fuck all left to sell anyway, plus the current treaty the state of Victoria is negotiating with the Abos will finish the job. Watching the fag conservatives celebrate my resignation as some kind of win after they went along with this shit during COVID and couldn’t land a glove on me despite everything I did, says it all.”
Andrews joins John Brumby in his post-politics career in a cushy board position but has believed to have relocated to Shanghai already after the CCP offered 24/7 state protection for the rest of his life.