Daniel Andrews resigns from politics after Chinese property developer ‘finally made the right offer’

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has announced he’s finally leaving politics following a generous board position at a Chinese state-owned property developer, after EZFKA previously reported back in May that he wouldn’t quit until the right deal was done.

Andrews is believed to have been offered $8,888,888 by Chinese developer Jade Moon Dragon 888 Golden Tiger Pty Ltd for the deal, $8 million more than Andrew Robb’s deal with Landbridge for selling the Port of Darwin a decade ago.

Spokesperson Wei Fuk Yu said he was relieved he didn’t have to release the blackmail tapes from Andrews’ last trip to China.

“We’re glad to secure the services of our greatest asset, er, assistant in the region and that the greatest property deal ever of infilling the inner suburbs with high-rise ghettobox shit aka the Suburban Rail Loop will finally get done,” Yu said.

Andrews steps away from politics with no regrets and no retribution.

“I’m devastated to walk away from politics without facing any real consequence for my actions,” Andrews said.

“Whether it’s running over a kid, locking the state down, cancelling projects, bankrupting the state, getting the cops to kick the shit out of you for not wearing a mask, letting African gangs run amok, or forcing you to take an unsafe pharmaceutical so you can service your bullshit mortgage on your shitty off the plan build out in Wollert, we really are the state of no consequences.”

“I had fuck all left to sell anyway, plus the current treaty the state of Victoria is negotiating with the Abos will finish the job. Watching the fag conservatives celebrate my resignation as some kind of win after they went along with this shit during COVID and couldn’t land a glove on me despite everything I did, says it all.”

Andrews joins John Brumby in his post-politics career in a cushy board position but has believed to have relocated to Shanghai already after the CCP offered 24/7 state protection for the rest of his life.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

timbo is the most prophetic australian political commentator

Reus's Large MEMBER

I did see a comment that he was going to be the APAC representative for the WEF so the Dictator might still be fucking things up for us in the future, not sure how true it was though


This isn’t satire



stunning hypocrisy from david llewelyn smith


If there is one man and one policy that needed an inquiry, it was Dictator Dan locking down Melbourne more than any other city on earth.

This isn’t a small oversight. Dictator Dan’s interminable lockdown was one of the most extreme events in modern Australian history.

Had to do a double check to make sure it was david and not leith posting this

the absolute hide on this man to have a go at dan about the severity of his lockdowns

either a complete narcissist
or has the memory of a goldfish


Probably reflected back on the damage its taken on his family & children

Agree didn’t stop him being a lockdown nazi when it all happened though


in that case i would expect first a mea culpa apology, a written retraction of all prior statements, a personal reflection on what led him to go so wrong, and reinstatement of my MB account


That would require DLS to admit he’s been wrong on something.

Has anyone ever once acknowledged him admitting his many errors in forecasts let alone policy suggestions such as what we saw in covid?

He is the economics equivalent of the real estate agent selling investment seminar tickets at your local RSL, absolutely no credibility.

If he was any good at a anything he’d be working at a bank on $300k by now but he’s a co owner of a blog an investment fund that probably pulls him $100k if he’s lucky


I actually also think he’s narcissistic and as a result completely lacks perspective. He likes the adoration of MBs online followers and the ability to spray his thoughts no matter how irrelevant or unusable into the world, into a receptive audience.


possibly, otherwise he’d just have a corporate job making money

he has done a lot of good work on immigration though

so its a win for australians overall


That was almost more LVOs thing IIRC wasn’t it


I actually also think he’s narcissistic and as a result completely lacks perspective.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and have similar concerns 🥺


The narcissist behaviors aren’t as bad when they’re useful and more correct, than incorrect

A fly in your ointment

stunning hypocrisy from david llewelyn smith

stunning hypocrisy is his middle name.

Aussie Soy Boy

There is zero self awareness. DLS was the biggest COVID sissy going around.

A fly in your ointment

unless the Melbourne Fuhrer has received an offer from chinks (and I don’t follow daily politics) the satire would’ve been much satirical if the new position he got was on board with Big Farma (spelled with the PH), you know, like Fizzler, Modern A, Buy o Entek, etc.


Why do you always have to speak in riddles and codes

Just call things as they are man

A fly in your ointment

what riddle and code?

I won’t spell some words in the form that makes them searchable and indexable by goggles and I make it clear that this is a deliberate misspelling; For those with lack of intellect I even write where the spelling error is.
Why is this a riddle?
Is it the word Chinks that confuses you? It means the Slopes.


won’t spell some words in the form that makes them searchable and indexable by goggles

What’s your threat model? Somebody will find all your posts and “do stuff”?

in that event, I think that it’s better to use conventional spellings. Because with unconventional spellings all your posts are obviously yours, regardless of your screen name.

whereas with conventional spellings, your posts disappear in a sea of other mentions of Pfizer, Moderna, etc.
just change your screen name occasionally.



Also what is the ointment bloke worried about


I dunno – he’s more paranoid than me, and I once thought I was being followed by helicopters.

The only one whose broken the circle of trust here has been the hemorrhoid ointment man, taking time machine snaps of comments that have enraged him.


The only one whose broken the circle of trust here has been the hemorrhoid ointment man, taking time machine snaps of comments that have enraged him

say wha?


Well, it appears that he has concerns about the purity of ointment supplies, if nothing else.

A fly in your ointment

I am only worried there’s not enough online time to spoil every ointment that there is and there are so many ointments in this world…

timo spazik

you need to schedule an ointment appointment

A fly in your ointment

@ Peach

nah, that is paranoia and I am as far from it as one can be.
it is the relationship between a comment/text (what was said) and the keywords of the subject that i am breaking up. I’m not the only one. What lots of dafties call AI is actually a very fast internet trawler combing for information to be copied and I simply don’t want my online intellectual blabber to be part of it.
a bit of digression, no matter how little influence that may be in the ocean of viewpoints, it has magnitude order more chance to influence something than voting in this pond.


I won’t spell some words in the form that makes them searchable and indexable by goggles and I make it clear that this is a deliberate misspelling; F

That is about as effective as l33t sp3ak at stopping your content being indexed…


Are there any politicians that dont go on to do ‘do fuck all’ big bucks management jobs? One of the ex NSW Premiers went on to a bank management job. He got 15% in the HSC. That was the lowest they’d give people back in my day so as to not cause too much embarrasment.

In China Politburo numba wan. Same in Ezfka.


So who is going to build us a clockwork dennis?

bjw, didn’t you do some fiddling with the language models before?


New vic premier is female as this website predicted


comment image

V is for… nevermind.

Last edited 8 months ago by Peachy

Peachy for PM !!


Audi driver should go to jail for attempted murder.


should get an AO for taking one of them off our roads


Why so mad? Does your wife not allow you to ride a scooter?


Go along with loud car owners

Reus's Large MEMBER

you mean husband ….

A fly in your ointment

AO for half done botched job?

I betcha he is a tradie who worked on those Mascot buildings or that one in the Syd Olympic Park – both botched jobs.


Murder wouldn’t stick. You’d have to prove he intended to kill the motorcyclist, versus just harming him.

Sounds stupid? A mate is a barrister. A couple of years ago he defended a bloke who’d been convicted of murder after torturing a man to find out the location of some drugs and the victim died while being tortured. The murder sentence was reduced to manslaughter because the perp hadn’t intended to kill the vic, he just tortured him and the bloke happened to die.

So, if torturing a man to death accidentally isnt murder, I doubt Audi man would catch a murder rap either.

It’s all about intent.

A fly in your ointment

Audi driver should go to jail for attempted murder.


even though i am a ruder, I see daily that in 100% of the cases like this it was the bikie that is either a triple jabbed idiot, at fault of instigating road rage, or both.
only worst kind are those that jaywalk CBD roads disregarding the traffic rule.

this pond has one of the largest pool of unskilled but very tolerant car drivers. There are idiots, granted, but poking those idiot drivers whilst riding is a greater order of stupidity.