Mass suicides have been reported across Melbourne within hours of Daniel Andrews resigning from politics.
A large number of “Dan Fans” force injected themselves with multiple COVID boosters, resulting in massive suicide numbers not seen since lockdown. It is understood PRGuy17 is among the casualties.
“I can confirm that a large number of ALP voters have taken their own lives this evening,” an Ambulance Victoria spokesman has said.
“It appears the leading cause of death has been by Pfizer booster, some of these deaths are at the injecting room in Richmond. Others have decided to spike their own coffee with massive amounts of MRNA and died instantly at their favourite wanker café of choice.”
The most amount of suicides were reported in Melbourne’s south-east, as a large number of Andrews supporters participated in a mass die-in in front of the Andrews’ residence in Mulgrave.
Parliament House also reported a number of people throwing themselves down the stairs, with Victoria Police also stating a large number of Andrews’ cult members deliberately riding their bikes into oncoming traffic.
However, ALP strategist Kos Samaras says it wasn’t a total loss, further stating that “these voters can easily be replaced by more Indians voting for Labor.”