WA Premier Mark McGowan has delayed the re-opening of the state border yet again, after a confirmed outbreak of the ‘Daddy Issues’ variant has again swept through the state.
McGowan said symptoms include never leaving the state in your lifetime, reading the Bell Tower Times, worship of the FIFO industry and repeatedly saying ‘thanks for keeping me safe’ or ‘govern me harder daddy’ in relation to absolutely anything of any risk.
“I can confirm that the border will remain closed until we achieve a dosage rate of 450% triple dose, until the 4th dose arrives in March and I thank the public for not abandoning me like your father did,” McGowan said.
“Sure, we’re a banana republic economy and some of those industries will be rightfully killed off but we all know this is for the greater good of the iron ore price, royalties and the state budget at the expense of everything else – until the next variant arrives.”
McGowan has announced that all future press conferences in relation to border openings will be held jointly with the CEO’s of BHP, X-Strata, Rio Tinto and FMG.