A new study from the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia has found that workers at COVID testing sites mysteriously have complete immunity from COVID.
The study, conducted by the Institute for Global Gaslighting, also found that Police, public servants and the entire Australian Capital Territory mysteriously remained completely unaffected by COVID despite being the deadliest pandemic of all-time.
“This remains the deadliest disease of all-time, so it’s only natural that no transmission occurs among workers standing in the same spot for hours a day is where you’d expect it the most,” Professor Yu So Fukd said.
“We’ve also found that Police gathering in groups to stop people gathering in groups and wearing masks that are weeks old are completely effective at stopping transmission somehow.”
NSW Premier Gladys Berejeklian applauded the study and urged the public to keep turning up to get tested so the “charade could keep going.”